Deck The Friggin' Walls With Bowels Of Molly

 Last night Sal and I were home alone, we do our best work then, and decided to throw the tree in the house and hang stuff all over it.  So we did.  I hacked around on it til the bottom looked like it was a leper, with a pair of pruning shears... 'cause they were handy.   Sal started hanging lights on it whilst I scampered off to the kitchen to make some delicious Christmas decorating beverages meant for adults only.

Wanna see some of our prized ornaments?   Heck yeah you do!  I took the job of untangler, and paparazzi fool.

First, a man's ornament.  It's pretty incredible, so life-ded-like in a tiny minature way.  Deer skull with horns.

I've got more!!

The red bird made family famous in a video from 12 years ago.

Oh and you want the video?  Peruse at your leisure.  Jake woulda been about 11 or 12.  I had no gray hair.  It was magic.









Incredible eh?

Two little personalized guitars.  They really play!!! 

No they don't.

I went all apeshit one year and actually made some ornaments.  I almost lost interest before I started, hence they instantly became collectibles because of the limited production.

They're made of gen-u-ine tree wood.  Rare in some parts of the world.

The star of Dave, enhanced with dog chewing.

Santa made from a shotgun shell.. cause we're hillbilly sonofaguns and we love having our Christmas decorations shot right outta the freakin' gun, Bubba.  I dunno what happened to his eye but it gives him kind of an edgy, pissed off Santa look.

And of course the rare and elusive Glitter Gun from a few years ago.  It's front and center.  Damned straight buddy roe!

Lookit Sally in her big ol' Santa hat!!    Cute as a nest of baby coons under the front porch!

And of course the traditional drink of choice and habit and ritual here at Christmas... The Homewrecker.

Cowguy's Homewrecker:

Your standard 12 oz glass, chipped rim optional.
A handful of ice cubes.
Cheap Mexican Coffee Bean Liqueur... 3 big shots
Cheap Brandy, preferably in a plastic bottle... 2 big shots
Top off the the glass with store brand Half and Half.
Stir it with your finger and prepare yourself.  It's like drinking candy.






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