Monday, November 29, 2010

Let Me See If I Can Ease Back Into This...

  Okay, so some of you have missed me.  I get cards, letters, phone calls, emails, packages and one slightly risque telegram, wanting to know what the hell happened to the blog.

As you know, I'm a human bean and I've been a dang busy bean... and a little lazy.  I haven't really made a good attempt at this thing for the entire hoopslah of 2010.  I apologize, but in a backward way that will probably make you wonder if I really apologized or if I was just gaining your confidence so you'd lift your shirt for me. 

Here.  Here's some beads.

We've had a whole lotta stuff going on, Sally keeps bustin' things but she says she's all done with that nonsense now and has firmly refused, with her little arms crossed, to break anything else for the rest of her life.  I have all the confidence in the world in her. 

Actually, Sally hit me up this afternoon to do some writing for her for something or another.  She said it real flirty like and I thought that I'd flex my word muskels a bit and try out the blog and see if I still had words inside of me that needed to escape from elsewhere than my anus. 

Cross your fingers, hold your nose... just in case.

Actually I'm not gonna get real deep or nothin' like that 'cause I hope that this is just a warm up session.  Honestly folks, I'm having a hard time.  Seriously.  No, I really am being serious.  For real.  See... I fell into the whole Facebook thing.  The bastards.  It's so easy to just post a couple of sentences and be funny, and takes hardly no time at all, and well... it's easy.  I'm easy.  Ask around.   So, I don't  really know what to do here.

Wait.  I'll post something about McDonalds.

That's some serious freakin' logic right there, cousin.

Okay, so the local McDonalds remodeled this fall.  What brought about anything of note from this remodelization of America's institution of hambugerly travesty?   This....

See, right there you have port a shitters, in use, for the primary restrooms... at McDonalds.  The place was still serving food at the counter inside and thru the drive thru.  No seating inside, the McCrappers were discombobulated with the remodeling, but you could take a leak in the porta john, wash your hands at the out of doors, foot operated via pump action...sink and then go eat a delicious hamburger or McFish or whatever the hell they call those things.

It's Missouri.

Then, because I'm somewhat of a cad, but in a really really fun disfunctional way, I stole a pic off of Facebook.  I could probably get sued for this or castrated or worse.  Frankly I don't know what the formal punishment is, but damnit... this is just too good to hold back.  

I can't really come up with a starting point of the wrongness of this picture, there's just so many things going on besides the center attraction.  It's like a 3 ring circus.  You don't really know where to look first cause you don't wanna miss the dancing monkey. 

So to speak.

Okay... I think I'm warmed up.



Scope said...

I thought when you had "entertainment" at your birthday party, they were supposed to service you. Ya'll must do things different down there in Missory.

Cowguy said...

I dunno how that whole party went down...and I seriously don't wanna know how it ended in the final end of the ending.

SkylersDad said...

I hope you stretched first before jumping back into this. Don't want to pull anything ya know... or maybe you do...

Good to see you out here again, and good to see that you, er random guy had the decency to cover Ronald's, er some clowns eyes with black.

Cora said...

Yup. Sometimes facebook is easier. In fact, I've fallen into the bad habit of stealing my own fb status updates to pass off as blog posts. I'm a charlatan.

*hanging my head in shame.... sorta like the dude in the green shirt there*

Gwen said...

You owe me some beads. Just sayin'.

Cowguy said...

What a nice warmish welcome back, I can feel the love and the hand on the back of my underpants ready to yank them up to Indianville.

Thanks guys and gals.

Beads are in the mail Gwenkie.

The Retired One said...

You just didn't warm're SMOKIN'....!!!
Glad to see you back in bloggerland!! you have been missed!

Venom said...

So, what you're saying is, you will make more attempt to write if I show you my boobs?!?

Actually, sounds like a good deal.

Cowguy said...

LOL the first few are freebies!

Anonymous said...

So glad you're blogging again. I really needed something to cheer me up.
P.S Just stole the picture from you. Sorry dude what goes around comes around!