One Bad Ass Lawnmower

  Okay, so my Dad went and got himself a new lawnmower... finally.   Really not much wrong with his old John Deere other than it was old and he'd got a hankering for a new ride, so he shopped.   And he shopped and shopped and shopped until there weren't any mower dealers left in the tri-state area to harass, and decided to buy a Gravely from the new dealer in town.   He was tellin' me 'bout it and all (still shopping at this point) and I told him "Just go buy the biggest damned one they got Dad".   He wasn't quite sold on my sales pitch at this point but it made him think.  My folk's yard is immense, probably 2 acres or more, lotsa trees and bushes and stuff to mow around and the mower he was looking at was a zero turn rig.

  Now let me back up just a touch in my story.  Dad's had several bulldozers over the years, I never took to 'em much mostly 'cause I hated working on 'em all the time.  Everything is big, greasy, unwieldy and ugly to work on on a Cat.  Oh I could run any of 'em just fine, I just didn't.  I figured it was expected of me to be the mechanic for the most part and if I started operating it I'd also be expected to be the operator and I just didn't want any part of it.  

  I had better things to do.

  So as Dad got older this last D-7 Caterpillar kinda languished around the place, just sitting, he wasn't able to climb on the thing and run it for much more than 15 or 20 minutes at a time, but............ he'd get a hankering to hear it run and drive it back and forth and jack around with it and I was the mechanic that usually spent 1/2 to a full day getting pony motor running on the thing and quite frankly, it became a sore spot for me.

  So there it sat.

  Okay back to lawnmowers.   Dad caves in to my logic which is "you've got the money, buy the biggest damned thing they sell and be done with it"... and buys what is quite possibly every man's dream come true in lawn mowing utensils.  

  One bad ass lawnmower.

 
It's got a freakin' roll bar, for craps sake...

It's got tires fit for Bigfoot.  Manly tires!

It's got 26 horses of Kawasaki, flame throwing, noise belching engine.  The damned thing holds 10 gallons of gas! 

From the back it looks like a cross between a dang Bobcat and a transformer with an erection.

Of course it has a drink holder, seat belts, folding arm rests on the hydraulically cushioned seat and it leaves a trail of testosterone where ever you drive it.

Bad ass, no?

So after he buys the mower he drives straight to our house, giddy as a little kid, Dad is 82, to tell me his story about buying his dream lawnmower.  But in his excitement he abbreviates the story quite a bit which is out of character for him.  It runs in the family.  We get a lot of mileage out of a good story.

Dad : "So I paid 'em for the mower and it was $6999 dollars and told 'em to deliver it and me and your Mom are leaving the dealership and Bud Payne sees us there in the car and pulls in and says "How much you want for your dozer today?"  and Dad says "What are you offering?"  Bud says "I'll write you a check for $7000 for it right now"  Dad says "Need a pen?"

So he's all tickled 'cause he just made $1 dollar on his deal.  I was in tears laughing.

The old bulldozer was worth more than that, but it's gone, I'm happy.  Dad's got a new mower, I cut his grass today with it, it's like a freakin Ferrari.  It'll run something like 11 mph... for real.

Mom told me on the phone when the dozer left on the trailer truck Dad just kinda stood there watching it leave.  Not quite crying but knowing that that phase of his life was over.   THAT makes me sad too, I know there'll be a day when something similar will happen with me and my kids will have to watch me "not quite cry".


Bitchin' mower though, Pops.






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