Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Boss Is An Ass

  Oh boy, my first question... and I'm as excited as a 16 year old school boy going to the dance with the girl with the biggest doo dads in the Jr. class.

  I am!  Really!

Monkey On My Back in Michigan writes....

"Dear Cowguy,
 How do I tell my boss he's an ass without getting fired?"

 Well... see, you've thrown a wrench in the works here 'cause you don't wanna lose your job while telling the big boss man that he needs to join Jerkaholics Anonymous.  The secret to making a plan to work in a situation like this can be found with one word. 


 My first gut feeling would be to sneak into his home in the dark of night wearing a Satan mask, wake him up with "You're doing a great job for me Bob, treating your employees like crap... everything is looking up for me seeing you in Hell, buddy."  Then I'd pee in his sink and leave.  

Some of that flashy powder stuff to toss out in the room as you leave would be a nice touch.

There's a chance you could get shot doing this and being as how you're not the real Satan, you're probably not bullet proof.  So... you can play this however you want.

The more logical solution would be directly, without the benefit of anonymity.  The next time that he pulls his crap, just fold your hands (body language speaks volumes), look him directly in the eye and tell him that you ARE a good employee, you're doing your job and have for years, and what he's just said is unfair and hurtful, and never break eye contact.  He's gonna get real uncomfortable and you've done nothing that would jeopardize your job.

 Then, at the end of the day, while you're walking to your car... kick the tail lights outta his Beemer.  That little gift is just for you.

 I hope this helps you out with that jerkwater asshat.


 Email me with your questions about anything on earth.  I have the answer.  It's true.



The Retired One said...

hhaahaaa Love the satan dust touch!!!

Scope said...

Should you also put some head phones on him, and blast him awake with your Walkman?

I think it's your density!

Cora said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Vicky said...

You've hit the nail on the head. It's the eye contact! Very important. Took me a long time to learn that one.

Gwen said...

I can't wait to see more . . . (runs off to practice peeing in the sink).

Cowguy said...

Thanks guys! Also I love it when my density is noticed.