Saturday, December 11, 2010

Cher and Kentucky Fried Chicken

I'm sorry (not really) but I've been noticing things again.  I've tried to stop this nonsense, but I swear on Kirstie Alley's dinner roll, I can't.  What have I noticed this past week?  Ah, oh, ahhh readers of this fine blogatilia... plenty.

I noticed that all those fine folks down under in the land of kangaroos and Dundees and Quigleys, love them some KFC.  I mean REALLY love that crispy, deep fat fried, mouth watering chicken flesh of ill repute.   You wanna know how much they love it?  They love it so much you can buy a $500 dollar gift card to the cardiac arrest of your choice.

I'm not shittin' you one instant.   I copied and pasted this from their website

Loading Value onto Your KFC Gift Card.
You can load a dollar value on the KFC Gift Card by using a credit card, debit card or cash at any participating KFC location.  You may not load more than $500 worth of value to your KFC Gift Card.  The minimum amount that must be loaded onto your KFC Gift Card is $10.00.  KFC may change the maximum and minimum amounts at any time by notifying you at the point of sale, by phone when you call, or on the KFC Queensland website (

Now how in the name of anal oil leakage can you eat $500 worth of that stuff.  I mean, come on man. 

Okay I've also noticed that Cher has become a walking talking plastic "love doll" thing.   I stumbled across this pic of her and Christine or Christina whatshername.  Eh heck... you don't wanna see Christina whatshername... so just Cher.

There's just a whole lot wrong with this whole thing.  Biggest and most noticeable is that rubbery face thing.  Cher is 64.  That don't look right and that don't match that hand skin much at all and speaking of matching... I photoshopped out a couple of things to make this a little gentler for all eyes... but what the hell went haywire with that ninny placement in that last boob job? 

Good God it looks like they're in orbit.

Wait!!  Here's one of those Japanese Real Doll things that cost more than a KFC gift card.  This thing looks more real than the current Cher.  I mean it.  (by the way you can also buy a manly version of this.... frankly I'm damaged just from stealing this picture offa their website)

I was coming home down the highway the other day and I noticed a van in front of me going down the road at a pretty steep angle.  It looked like an old hound dog that had just caught a load of rock salt out of a 12 gauge and it's hind end was trying to pass it's front end.

Of course I had to pass it 'cause it looked like that drivers side back wheel was gonna go the same way as Cher's tweeters.  That's when I noticed the real problems this old boy had.

Great Scott!  I never saw anything quite so caved in and all the mud all over the thing was nice and fresh as was that glued in foam back window.  But the goober driving it seemed happy enough.  Waved at me as I passed him. 

I bet that was a heckuva ride.

I'm through noticing things now.



SkylersDad said...

I wonder what kind of mileage the guy gets outta the tires on that beast since it crabs down the highway?

I wonder about the weird things in life.

Cowguy said...

Skydad...That one back tire was doing the rock and roll hoochie koo... I'm guessing he mighta made it home if it wasn't too far.

Scope said...

Are you sure that was the "real Cher"? There's a lot of guys over in "Boystown" that look more like Cher than that does.

Not that I hang out in Boystown.


Candy's daily Dandy said...

Cher's nanies have been surgically enhanced so many times that I'm surprised they're not bionic...

Gwen said...

I'd take that gift card and spend it all on Bowls of Sadness.

Be kind to misplaced nipples. I might know one personally, if you know what I mean.

I love the word goober.