Saturday, February 2, 2008

Amazingly... size DOES matter.

So let's just recap a bit. My folk's old ginormous TV blew it's guts out with very little drama and a wee bit of humor. I replaced it with a big new flat screen TV that should be large enough to please anyone.

Let's not get hasty.

A couple of weeks went by and I'd stopped in at my parent's house one morning like I do several times each week. There's usually 2 separate conversations taking place coming from my folks, both are almost always directed at me simultaneously. It's like juggling cats and looking up things in the encyclopedia all at once. It can be done, but you can look foolish pretty darn quickly too.

Mom is telling me about getting her haircut at the place where she gets it done and a conversation that took place when she was there the last time. A story about 2 people that I didn't know, but I was listening and nodding my head in the correct places. Meanwhile my Dad is sitting in his chair by the table checking his blood sugar and telling me what the readings were for the past 4 days and why it had spiked and it WASN'T because of that cinnamon bun that he ate, no matter what Shirley says. And I'm nodding in the appropriate spots for that as well. Mom moves on to telling me about something that the dog has drug up in the front yard that looks just awful... and I'm starting to get dizzy from it all.

So, in my "not so best" judgement I change the direction of the conversation in mid stream.

Me: So... how do you guys like your new television?

Dad: *sudden silence*

Mom: *not a peep*

Me: *regretting I had asked*

And then Mom started, but you gotta adjust this for the tone of her voice. It was her "sad and lilting, I'm okay, but not really, but if I use this tone I can answer it anyway I want and my point will be made because I'm using my sad tone" If you've got aging parents, I guarantee you know that tone.

Mom: Oh............ *sigh*...... it's okay.

Dad: Shirley!

Me: Man it smells like bacon in here! Did you guys have bacon for breakfast? I love bacon! Did you get that hickory smoked kind that HyVee sells? Man that is THE BEST bacon around. Yup I love bacon!

The clever ploy failed.

Mom: It's smaller.

Me: *giving in* Smaller than what?

Dad: Shirley!

Everytime Dad says "Shirley" I supress a giggle, 'cause I know she's not gonna stop no matter how bad Dad wants her to. LOL

Mom: I't smaller than the other TV, our old one.

Me: Mom, it's only 2 inches narrower.

Mom: It's smaller. It's shorter too.

Dad: Shirley!


Me some more: Mom, it's called letterbox, that's the new format for all the new tv's now.

Mom: I don't think I like it.

Me: Didn't you notice how much nicer the picture is?

Mom: *doing this answer in 2 syllables* Ye...sss. But it's smaller.

Dad: Yeah we had bacon this morning. I sure like that HyVee bacon.

Me: Yup, that's some dandy bacon Pop.

Mom: *Leaves the room*

Dad: It's fine, I like the TV just fine... but it IS smaller.

LOL Eh boy...

I love my folks, but some days it's just real interesting anymore.


lilsis said...


Yeah, I only listen to the important parts.

Vicky said...

That's what I was going to say .. BACON!! LOL

But, J, it's smaller!

WowsRose said...

I knew it! Martin is eating tootsie rolls for dessert in honor of B's sugar.
I can just hear that whole thing in my head. Most generally...right down to the Ye...sss.

Humpty Dumpty

Cowguy said...

I knew all that bacon talk would get your attention. Nothin' like bacon eh?

:-) Humpty Dumpty... LOL

Jerry said...


My Mom, bless her heart, as the beginnings of dementia. I love hearing her stories, but the third time it gets a tad on my nerves.

Fletch said...

Just with the two stories about your folks and the TV, I can see now why your hair has a little peak in your pitcher! Too funny. Wish I had my folks around.

Anonymous said...

We can hear the whole thing LOL!

Next time we're at your folks, I'm gonna ask, "Isn't that TV a cuppla inches smaller than the last one you had?"

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't take that Gracie person, whoever she is, to your parents. She sounds like trouble.


What's bacon?

Connie the Okie

Cowguy said...

Hey Fletch! Glad to see you and Jerry taking a read here.

All in all I'm sure glad that they're in as good a shape as they are. My Dad's sharp as a tack and a load of fun to be around. Mom... she's lots of fun to poke at. :-)

Gracie, don't you dare mention TV size. LOL

Connie, bacon is good for you! Ask Vicky and Lilsis. :-)

Mar said...

I don't know why I love this story, I guess cause I think I'm gonna sound just like them and my son is gonna sound just like you... hmmm maybe it's already happening.