Thursday, February 7, 2008

Haircuts

I've had a few comments on my picture to the right here, and the apparent Alfalfa hairdo that I seem to be hung with in it. Just had an email about it a couple days ago, and got me to thinking about haircuts and who's gave em to me over the years.

When I was little the first haircut that I remember was given to me by my Mom and it was your basic "mow 'em down slick" job. When I was with my Grandpa and he was getting a haircut, it was old Johnny Brammer in town that did the deed. Had a barber shop right on the corner, one chair, and the main thing I remember is when he turned on the clippers they always started off with a "bang"... and I kinda liked that, so he'd flip em off and on a bunch just for me.

Laverne was next, he had a drinking problem and always reeked while you were getting cut, that's about all I remember about him other than he took over the shop on the corner when Johnny Brammer quit.

Then time marched on, and my hair was a little longer to go with the times and I went to a barber in town that had a 2 chair shop AND a gunshop in the back. Pretty cool place but crappy haircuts. One of the barbers was real outspoken 'bout young men with longer hair and had a few "accidents" while cutting their hair. As much as I loved the whole barbershop/gunshop ambiance... I moved on to Susie's Salon.

Susie was cool, cute and made sure my coif was just like I wanted it and that when I left, I looked groovy. I don't remember why I quit going there. Must have been a good reason at the time, but I sure can't come up with it now.

Then there was a whole series of haircuts, most were pretty bad deals, but none worse than a haircut I got once at a Walmart. I know I shoulda known better than get a haircut at Walmart, but... I did it anyhow. A rather largish gal with too much makeup and a wad of bubblegum going that would have choked a goat was practicing her Edward Scissorhands stance. About halfway thru that one, I stood up, took off the drape, told her that was enough of that nonsense, laid my money on her counter and left. She was crying... Hell I shoulda been the one crying, walking outta there with that kind of a half haircut on my punkin. Sheesh.

Haircuts in strange cities are the best for entertainment. I was in Florida once and had a haircut in a place that turned out to be the haircut spot for "non hetrosexuals" I didn't know this going in, and don't get me wrong, I'm not a homophobe, I'd just have been a whole lot more comfortable in a more masculine place. The guy that was cutting my hair used the tiniest little dainty scissors I've ever seen anyone try to cut hair with. I don't know why he chose those, maybe he was gonna move up in size as he improved. Beats me. Anyway he jabbed me in the ear with 'em, while he was Nancin' around me, I ignored it. Then about 10 seconds later he jabbed me again. I told him that the next time he poked me with those cuticle trimmers there was gonna be a whole lot of unpleasantness and he clipped about 3 more hairs off and quit. Just like that.

I got a haircut in Oklahoma City once and I swear I think it was Winona Judd that gave me the haircut. I've even got pictures of this...



Check that out... now tell me that ain't Winona during one of her off stage stints, doing a little haircutting for extra pocket money.

Actual known pic of Winona..



See? I'm tellin' ya!

Eh well... the kid that's cutting my hair now is a ultimate challenge cage fighter on weekends. Yeah, he's entertaining too.

8 comments:

Jerry said...

My earliest memory was Uncle, well dang if I can remember his name now. Wasn't a real uncle - we just called him that. Anyway every hair cut I got was in a chair facing a painting of Custer's Last Stand. I remember the scalpin' and arrows in soldiers' chests and horses down - hell of a picture.

I have absolutely no idea whether I got good haircuts. At that age it didn't matter. :)

Now, of course, I don't have enough hair to worry about, so I just buzz it myself. Before I took up that practice, I asked my last barber (2 chairs, gun shop in the back - imagine that!) how come I had to pay so much for a hair cut since I'm pretty close to slick on top.

He said there was a $5 finder's fee.....

Cowguy said...

Hey no kidding! That'd been a great thing to sit and stare at during every haircut. Was it this print Jerry?

Little Big Horn Battle

LOL buddy of mine has that on him and his wife's bedroom wall. He claims there's all sorts of battles... :-)

Vicky said...

ROFLOL. You guys have it SO easy! Isn't a woman alive who can't write volumes about haircuts!

Kim said...

You had a GUY barber named LAVERNE? Is that some kinda MO guy name? 'Cause I'm picturing a guy--maybe wearing a bowling shirt--with a big "L" stuck on the chest area of his shirt. I think the only male Lavernes here in CA are doing shows in SF, and they probably have a WHOLE lot more in common with your Florida barber!

Cowguy said...

Vicky said: "You guys have it SO easy! Isn't a woman alive who can't write volumes about haircuts!"

LOL, oh I don't doubt that for a second Vicky! :-)

Kim said: "..... and ........ ...... .. ..... and ...."

Wow (again).

Yup, there are several "Lavernes" here. Right off hand, the ones that I know are pretty decent guys.

Stupid Missouri References: Strike 2.

Fletch said...

My favorite barber when growing up and coming of age was "Steed". Never knew his first name until he died. Early on, when h/c's were but a quarter, he started giving me a head massage with one of them massagers he strapped across one of his hands. I was well into my 20s and he still did that. Ah, youth, wasn't it grand? At least you've given ME something to write about!

Mama Koch said...

You see all kinds of things in Okieland, now don't ya?!

Jerry said...

Well I'll be a monkey's uncle! (How long since you heard THAT one?) Yes, that sure is the print. Funny, I couldn't pick Uncle Cy (I remembered it) out of a picture now, but I remember that print.

Amazing - you're clairvoyant! :)