Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Ode To The Flu

Ode To The Flu

Oh coughing and coughing it starts,
A tryst to expectorate from my lungs, what is not,
Then gloom, it falls all aroundeth me,
As my body succumbs to this wretched whore.

I fall into my bed and pile 5,
Nay 8 quilts upon my shivvering soul.
I sweat.
Gallons I sweat. And yet I shivver.
I puketh into the waste can besideth my bedeth.

I am struck immobile.
I shuffle throughest my home,
With the grace of an alcoholic baby.
The bathroom is so far far fareth away.

My gray sweatpants that once brought me comfort,
Now only bring me hopelessness.
Elastic long gone from the waist.
The crotch of them dangles betweeneth my knees.
I careth not...

My body,
Is distorted into a question marketh,
As if being prepared,
For the Final Round on Jeopardy.
I hateth Alex Trebek right now.

My dog snickers as I make my way past her.
No longer is she my best friend.
I get to the bathroom.
Door is shut. Sally is in there.
My soul weepeths.

Just in time,
She cometh out as I clinch and danceth.
Immodium AD, I love thee.

It's not so stupendza.

Jace 2-19-08


Bon said...

Poor Jace, I hear you loud and clear. Been there, done that. Hope you feel much better real soon.

gracie said...

Shakespeare's got nothin' on you!

Has Sally bleached everything you have touched?

distant hugs cuz I don't wanna catch anything

Oh....1 more thing.....you gotta get better NOW......haven't you got work to do? ;) (Sally....I'm tryin' to get yer floors done)

Jerry, Anne and Shelby said...

Oh man, Jace, I sure feel for ya. It's been about six years for me - my fingers are crossed big time.

Get better soon!! Here's a hug, a kiss and a shake (you figger out which one of us gives ya what!) :)

JudyL said...

Oh, no! I'm so sorry you're not feeling so well but I'm laughing my rear end off at your poem!

Vicky said...

The poet laureate of Cowpie Lane! I'm so sorry you've been sick, but I'm LMAO at your poem! Get well soon! (Hugs)

Kim said...

Awwww, you can't be that sick if you can write such loverly poetry! Now get out there and get to work! LOL! You crack me up! (Seriously, hope you're feeling better soon!)

Lindah said...

Oh, no! Poor guy! Well, I guess this too shall pass. And a good sense of humor helpeth it flee faster. Get well soon.

debijeanm said...

Kim sent me over for a nice start to my day. I feel so lucky to have missed the "puketh-ing". The cougheth-ing lingers on and on, however.

Hope it's all right if I come back from time to time.

Eileen said...

So sorry Cowpie, and you have calvies out there waiting for help to get out. Hope you're feeling better. Some poem

Anonymous said...

I will take your flu ANYDAY-if you will do my next colonospocy PREP!!! Did it Monday and I'm still cussing when I think about it. Babs

Greenmare said...

Hope you are feeling better! I had to stop by to see what Kim -of Kim's big quilting adventure- found so funny........ after reading about the romantic Mexican meal I am laughing so hard I'm crying!