Sunday, March 30, 2008

Chickens with teeth.

So yesterday I was fixing myself some breakfast and in my semi-conscious state of mind I was just staring at the countertop when I noted this on the top of the egg carton.





Now talk about poor product labeling. I'm thinking that most people are staring at this about the same time of the day that I am and probably don't even bother to read it... but I'm not made that way. I'm the kind of guy that notices things and I was born to stop and poke things with a stick.

The first thing that came to mind was the implication that "Vegetarian Fed Hens" means that somewhere in North America there is a colony of meat eating chickens that are eating vegetarians at random. That right there is material for a good horror movie.

*Start deep, raspy, and ominous "movie guy voice"*

"First the dog is missing.... then Grandpa... *scary cello starts* and the people of Smalltown send out a search party. *brief flashing of bloody chickens running past the camera* But... no one.... no one returns from THIS party. *Psycho shower scene music* REET REET REET REET REET! *Grandpa turning to his grandson* "I TOLD YOU NOT TO TEASE THE CHICKENS, BOY!" *screen goes to black and a scream in the background fades away* "

Now is that a ghastly thought or what?

Okay next that came to mind is, "Are these chickens fed only by people that are Vegetarians?" And if that's the case, why should that matter to someone like me, or you or Aunt Edna? And what the heck is a vegetarian doing feeding chickens anyhow? Doesn't that seem to go against a vegetarian lifestyle. (Like I even know anyone that is a vegetarian here in Meatville, Missouri.)

And finally, along the same lines... IF the egg place is trying to market these eggs to vegetarians... doesn't even that sorta go against the grain of that whole mindset? (Again, I wouldn't know a vegetarian from silly putty.)


My final thought on this.

I think Sal thinks I'm a little troubled.

9 comments:

Sally said...

You *think* I think that? sheesh

Cowguy said...

:-)

Fletch said...

You know sumthin? I probably see things like this all the time, but if it doesn't concern me, I just go right on by. Sure glad I'm single in a case like this. ;>

Vicky said...

A LITTLE troubled? ROFLOL. Now go eat your bacon with your vegetarian fed eggs! It'll all balance out in the end!

Katie said...

OH NO! I've been contributing to the untimely deaths of vegetarians by eating eggs. **gasp**! How could I?!!

Just in case no one has said this already, you should send that in to The Tonight Show. It's perfect for their segment on misprints.

Mark in Kansas said...

I've thought of starting a blog that comments on stupid product labels. For example, the kitty litter box marked "Veterinarian Approved! Safe to use around pets!"

"Safe to use around pets" ??? WTF ?
It's KITTY LITTER.

So these people put labels on milk that say, "Doctor Approved! Safe to drink !" ??

Jerry said...

"I'm the kind of guy that notices things and I was born to stop and poke things with a stick."

LMAO! And good for you!!

Oh, and thanks for the laugh!

Jerry said...

"I'm the kind of guy that notices things and I was born to stop and poke things with a stick."

LMAO! And good for you!!

Oh, and thanks for the laugh!

Kim said...

You know what? Even if you read it as it was presumably intended to be read--and granted I'm certainly not a farm girl--but don't chickens usually eat non-meat foods? But yes, I would have been very curious about the vegetarian-fed chickens the same as you were. I hope you didn't overcook the eggs while you were pondering though!