Sunday, October 12, 2008

Dogs, Guns and Miles O' Crap

Had a great weekend with all sorts of business. Played a great gig on Friday evening that generated a pretty good story (of course), but later on that. This is about Saturday. Sal and I went up to Rutledge, MO. to the Hillbilly Gun and Dog Auction and Flea Market. This is the epitome of redneckedness. My friend Kim woulda went into a major seizure I'm sure as that girl lives for a good flea market. This one is the grand daddy of 'em, the largest in the state of Missouri. I guarantee you can buy at least one of everything in existence at this thing. I also guarantee you'll have an urge to obsessively wash your hands and not touch your face in between washings.

We got some pics of the whole fracas and yes, there are literally MILES of flea market crap. Miles.

Wait, here's some nice crap! I can still smell the aroma of plastic toys heating up in the sun. Mmmmmm

Most folks are walking but you gotta stay on your toes or you'll get run down by folks in beat to hell golf carts and ATV's loaded with women folk sucking on a Bud Lite riding in the back... some pulling trailers loaded with their bootie. (purchases, not the women folk) (sometimes).

Several permanent and semi permanent trailers and outbuildings are splayed out over the whole mess... most will make you giggle.

DING DONG!! I'm sure the Avon corp. would be thrilled with this handy outlet for personal hygiene and toiletry products. You can almost smell the Wild Country aftershave from here.

Just outside a doll tent was this sad little scene. I'm guessing the Land Of Misfit Toys is just too good of a place for this little beauty.

Need a dog? Plenty of 'em for sale here! These little German Shorthairs were cute as buttons. $50 sends you home with one... unless you wanna deal for less.

And now, on to the good stuff! Yeah Sal and I have a blast at these things and of course we spend our hard earned money very very wisely. Such as these 2 awesome cast iron indian banks... made in China. There were only 2 of 'em at this lady's (loose term) booth. I looked at 'em and started laughing. I asked her how much for the 2 indian banks with the insane eyes that looked as if they were about to mutilate themselves with their tomahawks. They had $10 apiece marked on 'em. I got these beauties for $8 bucks for the pair. They weigh 'bout 3 pounds each and I wished I was closer to the car after carrying the damned things around for too long.

Onward we went and some folks were packing up their crap and there was a full sealed bottle of McCormick whiskey in the ugliest KC Royals decanter I ever saw. $35 marked on it. The dude said $5 bucks. Ha! I'll let you know if it makes me go blind... looks to be 1971 vintage.

"Hmmmm Firewater!"

And of course a fight broke out...

Sally got a cool cowboy purse, made in Mexico of course, for $3 bucks. We promptly spilled something on the front or got some sort of flea market goo on it. It oughta clean up. lol

"On 'em lookout for paleface with white beard"

I got a cool ugly shirt made from gen-u-ine polyesters. 50 cents. I know, what a bargain.

Sal snagged a few tops for 50 cents each, I grabbed a dozen Jersey gloves for $5 bucks. Got a box of sanding disks for $3 bucks but I think we left them on the table in the excitement of the whiskey purchase... so I guess that kicks the whiskey up to $8 bucks for the fifth. 'Bout the goin' rate for fresh cheap whiskey... kinda nullifies that bargain.

Anyway, lots of fun. Met up with our friends Ronnie and Mary Beth for awhile. Ronnie had a humdinger of a coffee pot and miscellaneous other prizes.

We headed for home, I got thirsty and pulled over to grab a water outta the cooler in the trunk. Sal never misses an opportunity for a picture... I seem to be looking at something on the ground.... :-) Objects are closer than they appear.

And that's 'bout it!



Jerry said...

OK, I just about laughed through this whole spiel, but I'm not sure which was the keeper - the Chinese Indians peeking outta the cowboy purse or you and the water thing at the trunk.....

Maybe it was the Indian fight.....

LMAO!! Good one, for sure!

Jennifer and Sandi said...

At least the redneck folks spelled "German Short Hair" correctly. hehehe I can say that because I used to live in Liberty Kentucky. You should attend the World's Longest Yard Sale - Along US 127. Ran right through town and was that ever FUN FUN FUN to attend and look at everyone's CRAP I mean stuff...

LOVE the Indians! I bet they will make great little helpers, helping you make furniture.

- Jennfier

Doodlebug Gail said...

I see that you like to play with your Indians like my kids play with their itty bitty Lego people - you should just see some of those photos - LOL.

Vicky said...

LMAO! Geez, Jace, can't take you anywhere!! ROFLOL

oldtrailerguy said...

Dang! Look at all dem old trailers.

It must have been almost heavenly.

Kim said...

"Hillbilly Gun and Dog Auction and Flea Market"? Oh, Lord, I don't know if I woulda had to go see it just out of curiousity or run in the other direction out in horror. I can tell you we don't have those kinds of things in California! And how did all those trailers manage to be put down in one place without a tornado coming along and moving them on down the road?! But I truly DO think you got your money's worth out of the Indians already, just for the hilarious photo ops! Thanks for sharing--I think!

Dana said...

Reminds me of some of the flea markets ad auctions I went to with my grandparents down in southern Missouri. You get the best stuff at these places!

The doll in the trashcan was priceless. I laughed so hard.