Thursday, July 23, 2009

Hey! YOU! Quit Screwing Around With My Lightbubs!

I'm getting old enough and my eyes are getting tired enough... I appreciate a good lightbub where I'm working or reading. (before we go any further, it IS lightbub, not lightbulb... Say after me, "Lightbub". You're welcome.)And as with anything that's working perfectly fine, to the point that you don't even notice it working fine... someone decides to go screw it up. If the monkey is happy and being good, you don't run in his cage, beat him with a stick and expect to not get hit with some shit. And by shit I mean CFLs. The little compact fluorescent screw in bubs.

What kind of a freakin' joke are these meant to be anyhow? Everywhere I read there's a story 'bout how CFLs are gonna save the planet and make us all love one another, make our kids smarter and save a glacier somewhere where I ain't ever gonna go, and you probably ain't either.

All I know 'bout 'em is, they cost more money and they put out joke light. Not joke light like Tom and Jerry might have that would actually be funny, but joke light like you'd have expected Spiro Agnew to have. You flip the switch on one of these and you can literally watch the lumens fall out of the bulb and float softly down towards the floor where it does no one any good except maybe the guy laying your new carpet.

The point of all this, I went to the little cubby hole closet at the top of the basement stairs the other evening to get a 60 watt light bub for the lamp by my chair and this is what I found...

52. Watts.

What? 52....

I may not miss the extra lumens of light that those lost 8 watts of power consumption were gonna give me... but I might. And I want 'em.

I walked over to Sal just speechless and shaking the package in front of her with a frightening look on my face. All she could do was look sad and say "I'm sorry honey".

I did an exaggerated prancing stomp around in a circle in the living room holding the 52 watt bubs high in the air out of exasperation.

AND how the hell do you make a 52 watt bub anyhow? I'm guessing it was a screw up at the Great Value Light Bub Factory and they just decided to run with it and write "energy saver" on the side of the box and people would buy 'em 'cause they would think they're saving a dolphin in the process of it all.

I'm just sick of it. Sick of it I tell you. I WANT MY LIGHT BUBS BACK!




April said...

Hehe, I've never seen a 52 watt lightbub so I agree, must have been a screw up they ran with.

WowsRose said...

I hate them, M is banned from putting them anywhere but the basement and garage. I noticed he's snuck them into the bathroom...

When I want light, I want freaking light NOW!!! And not that pussy light. lol

Scope said...

Stock up when you find them. They are soon going to be on the same shelf as the hens teeth.

I use CFLs in the bathroom, because in the middle of the night, I don't mind the slow warmup time.

And FYI, CFLs are going to be phased out for even more expensive LED bulbs. I totally blame Al Gore for this.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

If you want more light, get the bulbs that mimic the 100 watt bulbs. They're still pulling less power, so they won't melt your 60 watt recommended outlet.

We use the CFLs. They've cut the money we spend on electricity by a lot. Since we have a pay system set up where we get charged the same for every month, we usually overspend what we actually use, and we end up with one or two months free at the end of the billing cycle.

Also, when they burn out, I'm going to shoot them and release the harmful mercury vapors into the atmosphere.

Lady of the Cloth said...

ya, but some fat cat in DC probably made a million figuring it out! I love when I walk in the kitchen and have to wait 5 minutes while the darned lights warm up enough to see. Real great in the middle of the night and I'm stumbling around in the dark. Next we will be taxed on the use of sunlight like they tried 400 years ago. Then everyone bricked over their windows! It just goes on and on, doesn't it?

Sass said...

On your planet, in our cult, we'll use big freaking halogen lamps. lights. You know the ones.

Just sayin'.

SkylersDad said...

I don't even need lightbulbs. I have the light that glows out of me from the love of my fellow bloggers...



Hindleyite said...

52 watts? Might be made by Heinz.

Incidentally, I hope these energy saver bulbs are safe, radiation free and don't cause impotence, because we've been using them for ages.

I'm just a bit suspicious of anything that's free, and most of our bulbs are blagged from the internet freebie sites.

Best make the most of my 'abilities' while I still can.

Stick with the regular bulbs dude, I'm telling you! :)

Cynthia L. H. said...

52 WATTS?????!!!!!
What's next? Rabies shots for the Easter Bunny???

Gwen said...

You're so cute when you get ranty.

Anonymous said...

You know, when they're makin' them bubs that they're 'sposed to put 60 watts in and only put 52 in 'ere, what do they do with the other 8?

I bet they gave 'em to Al Gore so that fat bastid could get even richer.

You know, if we have a revolution like the French did after their financial collapse, I've got dibs on AG!

The Retired One said...

52 watt bulbs????
Where were they made? China? Korea?
If USA made, then we are probably going back to 48 states. Damn it.

Jerry said...

What Gwen said.

52 watts. LOL!!

Tony said...

"exasperated prancing stomp around in a circle in the living room holding the 52 watt bubs"

i'm part native indian i think i can get you in the tribe. lol

La Pixie said...

seriously, who would even want a 52 watt lightbub? I dont need then extra 8 watts, but I WANT THEM.

Kim said...

Yeah, I went looking for 100 watt bulbs at the store not long ago and had to settle for something else--I'd sure like to tell you what they were, but they're not in the closet anymore so I can't. Apparently Hubby, in all his wisdom, has relocated them to another part of the house. Bet he won't be happy when I have to wake him up in the middle of the night because I can't find the freakin something-less-than-100-watt light bulbs. I dunno. It's a conspiracy.

Greenmare said...

oh man I totally agree on this one cowguy. I have some of those STUPID CFLs too, and you need a flashlight to point up at them to see if they are on!

Nej said...

52 watts. (giggle) I've never seen that, but it's hilarious.

I mean, no....not hilarious. (ahem) It's wrong. (smirk)

Someone throw Cowguy a 60 watt bulb...quick!!! :-)

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Have you seen a CFL #*#&ING bub with a lamp shade on it yet? It's NOT PRETTY!!!! :(


Stacie's Madness said...

haha, you are HILARIOUS.