It Was Bound To Happen... Now What?

So I went into town today, had to deliver some furniture and run some errands, one of which was a quick trip into our grocery store. Got my stuff and was checking out, the clerk "Teresa" stood there looking at me. I stood there with my bankcard in my hand ready to swipe it. Teresa looked at me some more. I looked at Teresa. I looked at the cash register. Teresa continued looking at me.

So I'm kinda used to people looking at me around town... and not that I'm some sort of big high falootin' celebrity or something, but lots of people watch my woodworking show on TV, others know me from the band, Keota... and according to Sal, all the rest I'm either related to or know personally. I get looked at. So back to my story now that I've beat that in the ground like a tent stake.

Finally Teresa leans across the counter very close to my face and says something...


Me... What?

Teresa... *weakly* Senior discount?

Me... *jaw dropped* Excuse me?

Teresa... I'm just looking at you, you look to be about my age. Do you want a senior discount?

Me... Get out of here!

Teresa... If you're 50 you get a discount.

Me... *still incredulous* No shit?

Teresa... Really.

Me... Heck yeah! Gimme my dang discount! Is it like 50% or something good like that?

Teresa... *poking a key on the register* Let's see.

I'd bought some carrots, celery, cereal, basically "C" food with some potatoes and onions too.

Teresa... Ha! It took 60 cents off your total.

Me... You need a raise. Actually I don't know whether to kiss you or smack you one. Wanna know something?

Teresa... *giggling like a psychopath* What?

Me... C'mere. *she leans in* You just got my senior citizen discount virginity. How was it?

We're both laughing, but she's cryin and leaning with both hands holding her up on the side of the counter.

I started out of the store, stopped and turned and said "You be a good girl now" and she completely came unhinged again and her customer was just staring at the both of us.

I walked out in the parking lot and called Sal.

Me... Honey, good news.

Sal... What now?

She's sorta used to these odd little phone calls while I'm in town. Usually she's not impressed with what I think are awesome little revelations or relating to her things that I saw in town.

Me... I just got a senior discount at Prengers.

Sal... You're kidding.

Me... I'm serious as the day is long. Senior discount.

Sal... Okay, then, how come "I" never get a senior discount in there? I'm older than you!

Me... I don't know. You'll have to take that up with Teresa.

Sal... Who's Teresa?



And so it went. Then I got home, made a post on facebook about my new senior citizen discount status, that thread has turned into a freakin' novel. My friends and family seem to think I need to just go ahead and get my casket built cause it's just a matter of a few short minutes now and I'll be needing it.



Oh well.

Take me with you when you're shopping. I'll save you some money.














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