Tuesday, September 22, 2009

It Was Bound To Happen... Now What?

So I went into town today, had to deliver some furniture and run some errands, one of which was a quick trip into our grocery store. Got my stuff and was checking out, the clerk "Teresa" stood there looking at me. I stood there with my bankcard in my hand ready to swipe it. Teresa looked at me some more. I looked at Teresa. I looked at the cash register. Teresa continued looking at me.

So I'm kinda used to people looking at me around town... and not that I'm some sort of big high falootin' celebrity or something, but lots of people watch my woodworking show on TV, others know me from the band, Keota... and according to Sal, all the rest I'm either related to or know personally. I get looked at. So back to my story now that I've beat that in the ground like a tent stake.

Finally Teresa leans across the counter very close to my face and says something...

Me... What?

Teresa... *weakly* Senior discount?

Me... *jaw dropped* Excuse me?

Teresa... I'm just looking at you, you look to be about my age. Do you want a senior discount?

Me... Get out of here!

Teresa... If you're 50 you get a discount.

Me... *still incredulous* No shit?

Teresa... Really.

Me... Heck yeah! Gimme my dang discount! Is it like 50% or something good like that?

Teresa... *poking a key on the register* Let's see.

I'd bought some carrots, celery, cereal, basically "C" food with some potatoes and onions too.

Teresa... Ha! It took 60 cents off your total.

Me... You need a raise. Actually I don't know whether to kiss you or smack you one. Wanna know something?

Teresa... *giggling like a psychopath* What?

Me... C'mere. *she leans in* You just got my senior citizen discount virginity. How was it?

We're both laughing, but she's cryin and leaning with both hands holding her up on the side of the counter.

I started out of the store, stopped and turned and said "You be a good girl now" and she completely came unhinged again and her customer was just staring at the both of us.

I walked out in the parking lot and called Sal.

Me... Honey, good news.

Sal... What now?

She's sorta used to these odd little phone calls while I'm in town. Usually she's not impressed with what I think are awesome little revelations or relating to her things that I saw in town.

Me... I just got a senior discount at Prengers.

Sal... You're kidding.

Me... I'm serious as the day is long. Senior discount.

Sal... Okay, then, how come "I" never get a senior discount in there? I'm older than you!

Me... I don't know. You'll have to take that up with Teresa.

Sal... Who's Teresa?

And so it went. Then I got home, made a post on facebook about my new senior citizen discount status, that thread has turned into a freakin' novel. My friends and family seem to think I need to just go ahead and get my casket built cause it's just a matter of a few short minutes now and I'll be needing it.

Oh well.

Take me with you when you're shopping. I'll save you some money.



The Peach Tart said...

I hope you're an AARP member because they have awesome discounts. I got my eye exam and contacts for 30% off. I do hide my AARP card though.

BusyBee said...

Shoot...you qualified for that status many years ago. :)

BusyBee said...

Oh and John or I have NEVER been asked at Prengers for a discount.
We're so calling you to do our shopping.

Scope said...

Man, I hope I get old someday.

(Beats the alternative!)

Michel said...

I'm a little torn on this one - I really want that discount someday, but I really don't want someone to ask me if I want it like they think I would qualify for it!!

Char said...

Cowguy, you may want to check out that new stuff they have for coloring your beard. Jus kiddin!
I've been getting those discounts for many a moon.

Jerry said...

Come on now, Cowguy, you were the one who said you had your head in the oven. Geez, tell half the story why don't you? LOL!!!

Cora said...

I was a cashier one many eons ago and I was always too chicken to ask anyone if they qualified for the discount - it's like asking a woman if she's pregnant: what if she's NOT?! Waaaayyyyyy too dangerous!!

That Teresa is one brave lass.

SkylersDad said...

My father n law had a tshirt that said "Yes I AM a senior citizen, now give me my damn discount!"

JenJen said...

Well hell. 60 whole cents?? Damn!

La Pixie said...

thats one thing I am not looking forward to: popping my "senior discount" cherry

The Retired One said...

I felt the same way when I got offered my AARP card....but you know what??? I have saved a bundle on hotel costs by waving that little number under their noses!!
LOVED this post, it made me giggle.
And be careful with that Teresa..she may be a flirt with old codgers like you....you know, the elderly are vulnerable like that.

dianne said...

a sweet little old waitress at Village Inn subtracted my first senior discount without bothering to ask ... and now i feel cheated

Michael in AZ said...

Ummmmmmmmmm,.60, Now we know your price:)