Sunday, December 14, 2008


This is our 2 dogs... that's Stella on the left, the cute little redhead that she is. On the right, that's our other dog. She'll remain nameless today to protect her identity.

I've made an attempt to disguise her, just in case you happen to run into her some day on the street. I don't want her to suffer the ridicule that might be tossed in her direction if she were to be found out.

See... today... she's got a case of the doggie vapors to end all. All three of us were sitting here on the couch just watching Kelly's Heros. well not so much the girls as me, but we were all here sharing the same air space.

Suddenly the one on the right stood up, looked at me, sniffed her rear end, looked at me, paused, blinked a few times in rapid succession, looked at me again with what I swear was a grin... and then crept off the couch to the other room.

Now my nose is not exactly virgin territory to animal odors, or people odors for that matter. Hell, I'm a man after all and as a whole, we're a pretty gauche bunch of hairy, scratching, picking, human beans. Just wanted to clarify that, cause what came next was of monumental proportions.

For a few seconds I didn't realize just what had been perpetrated in my breathing quadrant, and then the cloud assaulted me. My sweet little doggie had slipped a whisper of colossal immensity. I'm afraid the couch is damaged. Stella (the other dog) just lays here beside me shivering and whimpering... much like I am.

I don't know if we'll ever be right again.

Can you give a dog Exlax? I mean without damaging the dog further than she obviously already is. Sumpin' needs to get outta that lil' dog's bottom.



Jerry said...

Just what we needed today, Jace. That was a hoot to read. And you write it so's we can almost see (smell?) it transpiring. :)

Sarah J. said...

There's no way something so stinky came out of such a cute pup! My parents always try to blame their dog, too ;)

Vicky said...

I'd try Bean-O first! :)

Lady of the Cloth said...

Nice one, blame the dog! Years ago we had a dog like that and when she ate liver dog food, MY! Anyway one day a salesman was just going on and on and we were trying to end the pitch, just then our dog did what yours did only she was under the couch (high legs and couldn't be seen). That sales guy started packing his things up and was GONE in a flash. My DH said, "I'll have to remember that one" I don't think the salesman knew there was a dog amongst us, if you know what I mean! Merry Christmas.

Darla said...

OMG!! ROTFLMAO!! that one brought tears to my eyes


WowsRose said...

Her and Cody must be on the same diet or something.

He almost killed all 5 of us tonight.

Remind me to tell you about Shelby and his tail. gagorama

Bonnie said...

Thanks for my morning laugh.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Put clothes pins on everyones nose until it passes....

Get it.... Passes!!!!!!!!!!

I crack myself up!

Happy Chilly Monday!

- Jennifer

Greenmare said...

hmm, our dog usually saves that sort of thing for bedtime, when she is closed up in our room with us- or better yet, in the car when we are going 60 mph and it's freaking 2 degrees and we can't open the windows. umm, why did we all pick dogs for pets?

Sassy Britches said...

This has given me a case of the giggles that I haven't been able to shake all day! ;)

Jennifer and Sandi said... now that's some funny stuff!!!


Cowguy said...

Jerry: Potent!

Sarah J.: I'll quiz your folks on that one. :-)

Vicky: BEANO! You're a genius!

Lady of the Cloth: Hey! I think I was that salesman.

Darla: It brought tears to my eyes too... only different.

Wowsrose: Can't wait to here the Tail tale.

Bonnie: You betcha!

Jennifer: Passed like a kidney stone!

Greenmare: Cause cat farts are boring in comparison. (like I know...)

Sassy Britches: Better a case of the giggles than a case of the vapors!

Sandi: Victory! I sense I made you laugh your pancreas out. My work is done.

julieQ said...

Hee!!! Watch the couch for rotting/deteriorating fabric...Merry Christmas!!