Wednesday, May 13, 2009

An Important Phrase To Remember For Technical Support

Take note and say this with me a few times...


"My machine caught on fire. Yes. My machine caught on fire."


The brand new Acer (feb this year) puter on the entertainment center here at home went all sparky smokey kablooey this morning when Sal poked the "on" button. After searching high and low for a number to call, I found one and got Elmer (not his real name 'cause I can't remember what he said, but Elmer works)in India and after repeating the serial number for him about 6 times I finally said this...


"My machine caught on fire. Yes. My machine caught on fire."

Elmer abruptly stopped and gave me the number for some Acer gods here in the U.S. I called it. I got "Ray" on the phone. Ray asked for the serial number of the machine and my name and the nature of the problem.


"My machine caught on fire. Yes. My machine caught on fire."

Ray: Mr. Weber please hold while I transfer your call immediately to our machine catching on fire department.

Me: Cool, Ray. How's the wife?

Ray didn't get a chance to answer because in the span of mere seconds "James" was on the phone with this...


James: Mr. Weber, I understand your Acer AX1700 caught on fire this morning.

Me: Yup. POOF! Lotsa smoke and stink. We unplugged it and managed to save the house.

James: Let me get all your info and we'll get that picked up from you tomorrow to get it repaired and right back to you!

Me: *me imitating the Frau Bleuker line from Young Frankenstein* Machine... Fire!

James: The label is in your email, just print it out and there will be no charge to you whatsoever to repair your computer!



So, there you have it. If you wanna speed things up when you're talking to some lil dude in India that you can barely understand just say this..


"My machine caught on fire. Yes. My machine caught on fire."


It makes it such a happy and carefree experience I'm gonna start using that line for everything I do from now on.






.

16 comments:

chicamom85 said...

I like it I might have to borrow that one. Hope all is well now.

Rae* said...

OMG It's funny. At least you had another non-flaming machine to do your blogging. I will add this tip to my Indian Language Protocol Guide for quick technical support and I will ask for Elmer -giving your name as my referral.

Stacie's Madness said...

HAHA. The Machine caught fire dept. lmfao

rebelsrider said...

I've had to talk to Elmer a time or ten and it just plain SUCKS! Thanks for telling me what to say in order to cut one of those excruciating conversations short!

Cora said...

The Machine Caught On Fire Dept? Well, whaddaya know?

Scope said...

The last time I got "Elmer" he claimed his name was "Eric". Being an "on call tech" guy myself (but thankfully not a phone help desk guy) I usually am pretty good with these guys as long as you play by the rules.

Rule 1: Don't lie to me.

His name wasn't "Eric" and I demanded to know what his real name was before we continues the call. THat went on for 10 minutes of him really trying to read a script, and my totally not playing along.

Greenmare said...

so, if the pensive thing doesn't work, then your next move is "my machine caught on fire. Yes. My machine caught on fire."
got it.



feng shui!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

You are so fricken brilliant.

yes, you! You know the guy in India was having a heart attack over you're call.

Char said...

So you are shipping the remains (ashes) to India, tomorrow? Sure hope the Machine Caught On Fire Department can repair it for you.

Jerry said...

I have an Acer. It's messed up a couple of times so Anne got a new Lenovo for herself and gave me the Acer all to myself.

Now I'm scared.....

mo.stoneskin said...

"Cool, Ray. How's the wife?"

You're a funny man. Scope's comment made me laugh. In an ideal world you and Scope would ring up Elmer together and post the audio online...

Kim said...

I bet Elmer doesn't know about Sally putting computer parts in the dishwasher though! I was rather freakishly and somewhat anally cleaning my keyboard the other day with Q-tips dampened with glass cleaner, and I got to thinking about Sally's keyboard-cleaning methods. Sure would be quicker!

Nej said...

Did it hurt the new entertainment center you built???

My machine caught on fire.

I'm thinking this has all kinds of fun uses. Not just on the phone, but at work as well.

Annoying issue with your computer? Want the IT guy to come look as soon as possible? "My machine caught on fire."

Granted, it would only work once. :-)

Jennifer and Sandi said...

I wonder if that line works on the Boss?

Me: "Mr. Boss man, my machine caught on fire! Can I go home now?"



See ya, I'm outta here!

Happy Friday Eve!
- Jennifer

Holly said...

I don't know what's scarier, that your computer caught fire or that they actually have a department for that.

Vicky said...

Man, I can see a lot of uses for that line. Like calling the bank, "My checkbook caught on fire." You crack me up!