Sunday, October 25, 2009

Dream Analysis Part 2!!!

Okay so it started with this post and then... the analysis started with THIS post. Today, I'm gonna drop my glasses down on the end of my nose, touch a pen to my lips, put on my "and how do you feel about that" face and finish with the rest of y'all.

Here we go!


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Oh My Goddess wrote wittily...

"I had this dream that someone would use the word cowgina in a post which also referenced Amish Graffiti.

Coincidence? I think not."


Firstly, I wonder about the honesty of actually having a dream such as this, but that's okay because it further allows me to put a little more perspective on the thing. Goddess, your desire to follow the veterinary field is rooted deeply in your heart. The need to help the Amish people with animal husbandry is something you should absolutely follow! Please quit the self denial! There is a huge shortage of female, large animal vets, enroll in veterinary school today!

And yes, you are a very sexual person.

Cowguy, LMNOP, MSG


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Candy from Candy's Daily Dandy spelled out her dream for me...

"I used to dream all the time that my front teeth were falling out. I would shove them back up into my gums, but they kept falling back out.
It would cause me much stress and anguish."



Dear Candy, this may be a little hard for you to grasp, and possibly a little disturbing for you. Move back home to Arkansas. I think you know this in your heart of hearts. End the stress. End the anguish. Just go back home. Your cousins are all waiting for you hon. Don't bother taking your toothbrush. Okay? *pats you on the back*

You know this already, but... you are a very sexual person.

Cowguy, OLLY,OXEN,FREE


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My little blogging friend Susan quipped this horror filled dream on Sawdust and Cowpies...


"Two nights ago I had a dream that the mayor was on my street corner giving his re-election speech.

No one came to watch him so I felt sorry for him and sat on the curb and clapped. All alone. He ignored me and kept reading from his ripped loose leaf paper speech.

My brother works on his campaign. Probably not a good sign??"



Sweet sweet Susan, this dream isn't as deeply rooted as one might first think. You need to see the M.D., That burning sensation... I really hate to say this out in the open like this, but... Well... you need to quit hanging quite so closely with the mayor. It's possible that... I'm so sorry... it might be the clap. Take 2 aspirins and call me in the morning.

Needless to say, you are a very sexual person.

Cowguy, BYOB, 123


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Cora from Love Letters By Cora sent this bit of dream humor...


"Okay, I kid you not, I had a dream where I was on the Titanic. It was sinking (duh) and people were running and screaming and fighting over the life jackets. I wasn't sure which way to run but knew I needed to get moving and fast. I turned around and found myself face to face with Rowan Atkinson. Then Rowan grabbed me, stuck his face between my boobs and motorboated me. When he was done he turned around and ran off into the crowd and I woke up thinking WHAT THE HELL?!

I look forward to your analysis, Dr Cowgina!
"



Sometimes even someone as knowledged in dream research as I, Dr. Cowgina, hits a little bump in the road in being able to analyze a dream properly. Never the less, I'll try my hand at this.

You seem to be a very motorboatable little vixen. (forgive me Scope, just professional observations here.) You're easily entertained by rubber facing antics, such as Mr. Atkinson is so famous for, and as such, the motorboating that he could deliver would possibly be the most vigorous motorboating that a girl could hope to be performed up on her. The Titanic reference in your dream is merely the desire for him to sink his face... uh... right in there.

As everyone knows, you are a very sexual person.

Cowguy, DWF, DWI, DOD


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Beth from Must Stamp Alot narrates her dream...

"My husband keeps having this recurring nightmare about working in an ammo reloading facility and getting his finger caught in a reloader machine.


Then there's this one when he was feeding hay to some old guys cows and the net wrap wrapped up in the drive shaft of the truck and caught on fire. I dont know the whole story though...every time he thinks about he gets traumatized!

Help!!"



Beth, that is no dream that needs interpretation. Those are merely things that happened in real life, and will possibly haunt him for the rest of his life. Make sure and tell Phil that I still laugh about them.

You are a very sexual person according to the stories around town.

Cowguy, BRN,GRN,RED


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My long time friend Vicky at LA Quilter relays to me this little tidbit of information about her dreams...


"The only dreams I can remember are the ones I wake up in a cold sweat because someone is chasing me. I'm trying to scream but nothing is coming out. Haven't had one of those in four years. Hmmmm....

Oh, I had one forever about a tornado coming. Guess my life isn't exciting enough."



Vicky, sweet Vicky. I hope this isn't too improper to relay in public, but the analysis of this dream is quite simple. If you hear, in the near future, someone yell "TITTY TWISTER!!!!".... Run. Run for your life, don't bother screaming cause as you know it ain't gonna help. Just run like the wind blows.

You are a very sexual person ma'am.

Cowguy, OBGYN, FBI


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My good friend Jerry, who doesn't have a blog, but should have, tells me this...


"I dreamed that I was in my garden and the gate was open and some weird guy came in and started eating my corn, but he just took a bite and then ripped off another ear. I remember the beans were growing so fast I couldn't keep up with picking them but I wanted to break this weird guy's neck. The garden was blue. All blue. Oh, and Anne was yelling something but she was standing on top of the house. That's all I remember. I hope I didn't break Anne's neck in my sleep!!"


Jerry... my friend. All that acid back in the 60's? Yeah........ Groovy.

Seriously, I loved this dream/flashback. Anne on the roof (with her purse I'm sure) was my favorite part.

As the whole woodworking community knows, you are a very sexual person.

Cowguy, TWW, CJH, BOOBS


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Cynthia from Cynthia: World-Renowned Author told me this...

"I'm driving through an outdoor flea market in an old, vintage, Ford pick-up. My ex-husband (MUCH handsomer than the real version---maybe even with hair on his head---minus the comb-over) gets in and wants to drive...."


Cynthia, sport... It's time to trade in the old Ford truck, possibly for a new sportier version... LIKE THAT ASS YOUR EX HUSBAND DID WHEN HE STARTED HANGING OUT WITH CHEAP WHORES!!! BTW I saw your ex on match.com... I feel your pain.

Though your ex didn't realize it, you're a very sexual person.

Cowguy, STP,POOP,UI


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That girl ~E at *E* Deconstructed penned this onto my blog...

"I'm going to a Seahawks game with a buddy of mine, but before I go I want to take a shower first. The shower stall is like one in a gym but with no doors and no curtain...so I shower but constantly freaking out that someone is gonna walk in and spot me. Finally I finish, and walk out of the shower and all of a sudden I'm a guest at the Oprah show. I'm a figure skater and she has the set all fixed up for me...complete with mini ice rink right in the middle of all the audience members and a crapton of fake fall leaves spread out all over. And I'm throwing a tantrum (at OPRAH) because I can't skate with all these leaves around. I storm out of her building and run smack into a crazy environmentalist lady in front of a huge decrepit, run down house. And she is complaining to me how Oprah should have used real leaves from the ground and not fake ones. Because the fake ones will clog the environment."


Other than telling you that Oprah is Satan, I can't tell you much from what you've given me. I'll be needing pictures of you in the shower to further discern what this dream means. My email address is available from my profile. Okay? Okay.

You are an awesomely sexual person.

Cowguy, ѬѰӤ, ٕۓὧ,₱ᶲټ

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Char, who loves my blog to smithereenies, as you all should... has a blog called CharsToday and tells me this bit of bizzarity...

"I am in a long building and am carrying a 'fickle finger of fate' award (you know, from Laugh In). I come inside the door and the space is so long its like looking into a tunnel and people are at the other end look as though they are miles away. I ask what I am supposed to do. They tell me to go to the other end and show them the award and they would know what to do. I do this and they opened fire with tommy guns and I grab my stomach and feel warm blood rising up and awake when it reaches the back of my throat, I wake up."

Although a bit complicated for me to put into laymans terms, this analysis is simple. You regret not being a Go-Go dancer. You should pursue that career now. If you need help choosing a performers name for your act, please contact me. Those services are available from me as well.

You are a very sexual person.

Cowguy, ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX


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And finally Gwen at Everything I Like Causes Cancer, and being a late bloomer in posting dreams but definitely not a late bloomer according to the Jr. High Football squad, sneaks in this gem....

"I don't generally remember my dreams but the night after you analyzed your own dream, I had a dream about you. I'm serious. All I can remember was that I was visiting you and I was trying really hard not to be a prissy girl about dirt and bugs and farm stuff because I wanted you to like me.

I'm a very sexual person"


Gwen, you're a dirty girl. It's okay. Grasp the concept. Run with it. I like you.

As you already know, you're a very sexual person.

Cowguy, Fresh Out Of Degrees


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Thanks everyone for playing along... what fun!









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12 comments:

~E said...

I feel like I should pay you $70 an hour for analyzing my subconscious psyche so superbly.

But you know...I'm not gonna.

Maybe one of those shower pics instead...

Oh My Goddess said...

Thank you, Dr. Cowguy Dream Interpreter.
Thank you.

Vicky said...

OMG, thank you, oh great one! Now I know what to do -- run like hell! Whew! I'll sleep easy now!

ahr8tch said...

OK! I got 'em all and really are impressed with your ability to interpret dreams. However, I want to know more about those gyms with showers with doors and curtains.

Not in MY gym!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Oh my, I've been outed on the bloggersphere!!!

I guess I have to go home now to my long suffering husband... my first Cousin Zeke.

Thanks CowGuy. The dreams have disappeared!!

Jerry said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JenJen said...

These are hysterical!

Cora said...

Y'know, I never thought of it like that before. I bet being motorboated by a rubber face like Rowan Atkinson WOULD be quite, uhhh, NICE.

Hmm.

*lost in dirty thoughts because I'm a very sexual person*

Jerry said...

Can't spell Cowguy! Ack!

Reposting:

ROFLMAO!! You're a wise, wise man, Cowguy-san. :)

(Doh!)

Walter said...

Interesting analysis. Odd, but interesting.

Walter Donovan

Veterinary School Adminstration
Veterinary College Abroad

Char said...

Well, I cannot believe you knew I wanted to be a GoGo dancer! Gawd, you are good. I going out right now to look for some white boots. Sixty-five isn't too old to GoGO, is it?

Cynthia L. H. said...

Dear Dr. Cowguy,
I'm thinkin' that "Oh My Goddess" from the previous days post has the right idea...that Dr. Freud has nothing on YOU!!!
;^)
Almost fell out of my chair laughing at the photo you found on match.com...
How did you know???!!! Perfect! Glad you caught the little whiner in his secret past-time....
I will be forever grateful.
;^) ;^0