Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Let ME Analyze Your Dream

I don't dream much... or if I do, I don't remember 'em. I've always been kinda envious of my wife Sal's ability to wake up, tell me in detail (usually bizarre detail) her dream.

I woke up a couple of mornings ago in a panic. That little bit of confusion where you're trying to decipher if that was a dream or if that was real, and then the nice soft comfort when you realize it was just a dream. That's a pretty cool feeling in and of itself. Anyhow... in my dream I walked into my shop, which was all different and in a different location, actually at a place that I lived about 13 years ago, and my tools were all gone. Not only my tools, but EVERYTHING. Someone had stolen every last item in my shop except..... a white washer and dryer combo.

No I do not have a washer/dryer in my shop in real life. Only in my dreams (wistfully!)

Also there was a lot of Latino style graffiti spray painted on my walls. I dunno... if it were Amish graffiti, I'd kinda understand it, 'cause we're crawling with Amish folks 'round here. Latinos? We're a little short on 'em. There's Jose at the mexican restaurant in town, but Jose likes me and wouldn't graffiti up my walls. That's 'bout it.

As I lay in bed I tried to figure out what the meaning of this dream was, and finally was able to decipher it. The missing tools mean that I take what I have for granted and the washer dryer combo showing up just means that I need to clean my shop and quit taking things for granted (once again) and the graffiti means that I need to go see Jose and order the Pollo Bandido.

Now I'm no doctor, no degree in psychiatry, my education... oh Lord. BUT I have had my arm up a cow's vagina (cowgina) on numerous occasions, fetching out calves, so THAT should give me some credibility (although I don't know why. I really just wanted to weave the word "cowgina" into my blog post). Here's what I want you to do...

Your most recent dream you've had (not the dirty ones, unless it involves me), post it down in the comments. I'll pick a few and do my best to analyze 'em for you and kinda set your mind at ease as far as dreaming goes. Okay? Okay.

Dang, I'm kinda proud of that little Photochoppery montage!!



Matt and Sarah J. said...

Mmm... pollo bandido is what I order every time!

WowsRose said...

I bet the Latino graffiti came from the really bad Sanchez + distorted penis graffiti that you pass every day on the way to town... lol

mrscravitz said...

I have not remembered any of my dreams in the last couple of weeks. Probably because hubby keeps waking me up and telling me I am snoring. It is such habit with him, that I swear he just talks in his sleep saying I am snoring because I know I have ONLY JUST closed my eyes. Anyway, the last dream I had that I remember, was, I was in the mountains, at this cabin place that was mine, but in real life I did not really live there. Some of my best friends were in the dream, and at the very end, I saw my mother, of whom has been gone for 9 years now. There is a lot more detail, but I won't bore you with the color of the trees, or house or flowers. Yes, I get very detailed in my dreams. Must be a "woman" thing! LOL

mo.stoneskin said...

Ok, try your best.

I'm at MacDonald's with my mate Andy. We're being served and at the front of the queue to our left are two attractive blond girls, identical twins in fact.

As they pay I lean across and display my usual razor-sharp wit. 'You'd think they would offer a special deal for twins, a crazy 'two-for-one' deal wouldn't you?' I joked.

Behind us in the queue were three lads, identical triplets in fact. They caused quite a fuss, accused us of discriminating against those formed from a divided egg or whatever.

The rest of the dream was essentially Andy and I running away from the triplets.

I await your interpretation eagerly.

Stacie's Madness said...

lol. i think i need to go see jose too.

JenJen said...

I dreamt that I was in a school building and there were shoes on the other side of the door but I couldn't figure out how to get in that room.

Susan said...

Dreams require sleep, right? Hasn't happened in a while. Don't see it happening soon.

staceyjwarner said...

I had a dream that me and this Clint Eastwood type character were sleeping outside near a river. He washed in the stream. It had the feel of a film from the 70's. I was cold so he gave me his t-shirt to wear. It smelled of him. It was old. This guy wasn't homeless. He chose to live this way by the stream fed by melting snow caps...I was in love with him but later in the dream he would push me emotionally away, although it was no longer me.

HAVE FUN! (If you choose this one...) LOL!

ahr8tch said...

The dream:

I had just moved into the area and there was a local issue vote.

When I tried to vote they told me I couldn't because they weren't sure which way I'd vote. They told the guy ahead of me in line he couldn't vote because they knew he'd vote against the issue.

I raised a little hell and they called the local cop.

Suddenly I realized that it was just a power grab by the local politicos.

I shot everybody but the guy in line ahead of me and went back to sleep.

Sass said...

Okay, I'll bite.

I dreamed that I was driving, and Barack Obama was in the passenger seat. My husband was in the back. Next thing I know, Obama slips his hand inside my bra.

My husband laughed, smiled, and said...now THAT'S an elected official.

I then had a sit-down with michelle obama, who was white. And she told me it was okay, that he does it all the time.

Then I was given a secret entrance into the white house, where I just had to crawl over the blue filing cabinet, past the trash cans, and into the "big office."

Have fun with that one, Cowguy.

Cowguy said...

Ooooohhhhhh this is getting good....

Oh My Goddess said...

I had this dream that someone would use the word cowgina in a post which also referenced Amish Graffiti.

Coincidence? I think not.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

No you need to order the Mexican Hot Pocket..Right????
Cowgina is just hilarious..

I used to dream all the time that my front teeth were falling out. I would shove them back up into my gums, but they kept falling back out.
It would cause me much stress and anguish.

Good luck with that.

Susan said...

Two nights ago I had a dream that the mayor was on my street corner giving his re-election speech.

No one came to watch him so I felt sorry for him and sat on the curb and clapped. All alone. He ignored me and kept reading from his ripped loose leaf paper speech.

My brother works on his campaign. Probably not a good sign??

Cora said...

Okay, I kid you not, I had a dream where I was on the Titanic. It was sinking (duh) and people were running and screaming and fighting over the life jackets. I wasn't sure which way to run but knew I needed to get moving and fast. I turned around and found myself face to face with Rowan Atkinson. Then Rowan grabbed me, stuck his face between my boobs and motorboated me. When he was done he turned around and ran off into the crowd and I woke up thinking WHAT THE HELL?!

I look forward to your analysis, Dr Cowgina!

~Beth said...

My husband keeps having this recurring nightmare about working in an ammo reloading facility and getting his finger caught in a reloader machine.

Then there's this one when he was feeding hay to some old guys cows and the net wrap wrapped up in the drive shaft of the truck and caught on fire. I dont know the whole story though...every time he thinks about he gets traumatized!


Vicky said...

The only dreams I can remember are the ones I wake up in a cold sweat because someone is chasing me. I'm trying to scream but nothing is coming out. Haven't had one of those in four years. Hmmmm....

Oh, I had one forever about a tornado coming. Guess my life isn't exciting enough. lol

Jerry said...

I dreamed that I was in my garden and the gate was open and some weird guy came in and started eating my corn, but he just took a bite and then ripped off another ear. I remember the beans were growing so fast I couldn't keep up with picking them but I wanted to break this weird guy's neck. The garden was blue. All blue. Oh, and Anne was yelling something but she was standing on top of the house. That's all I remember. I hope I didn't break Anne's neck in my sleep!! LOL!

Jerry said...

Oh. Forgot. Cool post, Cowguy!! :)

Cynthia L. H. said...

I seldom remember dreams either, but this one freaked me smooth out...
I'm driving through an outdoor flea market in an old, vintage, Ford pick-up. My ex-husband (MUCH handsomer than the real version---maybe even with hair on his head---minus the comb-over) gets in and wants to drive....
I don't remember the rest....
;^) ;^0 ;^-

~E said...

Oh, now you've done it! You want our dreams? Ok...but I want to remind you that YOU asked for it.

I'll also briefly mention that I keep a detailed dream journal, and I'm taking this directly from one of the entries.

I'm going to a Seahawks game with a buddy of mine, but before I go I want to take a shower first. The shower stall is like one in a gym but with no doors and no curtain...so I shower but constantly freaking out that someone is gonna walk in and spot me. Finally I finish, and walk out of the shower and all of a sudden I'm a guest at the Oprah show. I'm a figure skater and she has the set all fixed up for me...complete with mini ice rink right in the middle of all the audience members and a crapton of fake fall leaves spread out all over. And I'm throwing a tantrum (at OPRAH) because I can't skate with all these leaves around. I storm out of her building and run smack into a crazy environmentalist lady in front of a huge decrepit, run down house. And she is complaining to me how Oprah should have used real leaves from the ground and not fake ones. Because the fake ones will clog the environment.


Good luck with that.

Char said...

I am reluctant to mention this crazy dream, again...but here goes:

I am in a long building and am carrying a 'fickle finger of fate' award (you know, from Laugh In). I come inside the door and the space is so long its like looking into a tunnel and people are at the other end look as though they are miles away. I ask what I am supposed to do. They tell me to go to the other end and show them the award and they would know what to do. I do this and they opened fire with tommy guns and I grab my stomach and feel warm blood rising up and awake when it reaches the back of my throat, I wake up.

Weird, huh? Someone told me that if I hadn't woke up that I would've died. I'm not out to prove that!

Oh and Bwahaha on "cowgina".