A Redneck Can Too Play Jazz!

Thursday evening, that's 3 days ago, I was asked to play guitar for the social event of the year in our community. A fund raiser held each year to benefit the local theater group. I went into this thing, playing with people that I'd never played with, about a 30 song set of the type of music that I'd never played... with one practice. I was more than a little concerned that I'd either come off looking like a total fool or by some stroke of luck, I'd pull it off and have a blast.

I had a blast.

My musical background is rock and of late... country with tinges of bluegrass. To sit and play jazz, 40's big band tunes, 50's crooner and torch songs... oh holy crap. Top this off with I do not read music and I was sitting in with a group of semi-pro and professional musicians. I gotta hear a song through a couple times to get a handle on it usually. Chord charts help and give me a starting point if I'm totally lost... which I was on a few of these.

Got to see loads of friends and acquaintances that I hadn't seen for years, had great food... way too much liquor and the most beautiful woman there on my arm.





Martina, the gal that sings in my regular band was one of the vocalists last night, she was incredible! Steve, a highway patrolman by day does one of the most awesome jobs crooning out Sinatra and Dean Martin tunes that you've ever heard. Here's the two of 'em ripping through "Sway". The drummer, John and I had a hoot with this one, we got into the samba mentality and got the giggles pretty bad.





Martina and Sally cuddled up for an incredible shot of the two of 'em.





And some guy sitting back there with a Stratocaster, having the time of his life, doing a style of music that he'd never played. :-)





The dinner and music was held outside in a tent that covered the street for half a city block. It rained off and on and was a little chilly... but it sure didn't dampen the spirit any.

I wish we could do this once a week! Too much fun!




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Things I've Found In Furniture.

Over the years I've found tons of stuff in furniture that people have brought to me, mostly it's just junk but sometimes it's interesting.

The cracks and edges of dresser drawers are rife with rusted bobby pins and dress pins and sewing needles. Scraps of newspaper clippings that got stuck in the crack of the back of a drawer. Whole newspapers lining drawers of dressers... those are usually interesting. I've found grocery lists from 50 or 60 years ago, photographs, pictures crayoned on the bottom of tables and furniture from kids laying on their backs on rainy days, bored and crayon ready.

I have seen more prehistoric chewing gum than Wrigleys turns out in a years time. Roll top desks are a treasure trove. Where the desk top rolls back, there's usually an area behind the cubby holes that is always hidden and stuff gets back there in time capsule form. I even found a wooden dip net like you would've taken trout fishing 100 years ago, in a rolltop desk once. I bet the guy always wondered where the heck it went. I found letters from a son that was attending Wash U. in St. Louis, sent home to his parents while he studied to become a doctor in the early part of the 1900's (I can't remember the dates on that)


All this brings me to a find from today. I flipped a dresser upsided down, one of 2 I'm working on for a family and up in the top, inside of the dresser was a picture stuck in a crack. I slid it out and wiped it off...LOL I don't know quite what to make of it. It seems a little naughty. :-) It appears that the couple is window peeking and has caught mother inside OR the gentleman is getting frisky with "mother" on the porch. I dunno..

Here it is, click on it to enlarge it. Let me know your take on it and what you think is happening.








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Gonna Sing For My Supper

Y'all be glad to know that friends have taken pity on me this evening... being as I'm in the dire straits that I have succumbed to, of being home alone. Some of the folks that I play music with invited me and my mandolin over for dinner this evening. Just call me Lucky.

Finished up a bookcase this afternoon, after working on boring crap all morning. The bookcase is a gift for one of the kids and is my design. You can take a look at it if you want over at the woodworking forum. If you've already seen it over there, just pretend like it's all new to you again. :-)

Gotta run, real food awaits my eager lips.

J.





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Whiskey and Twizzlers

Whiskey And Twizzlers


A country heartbreaker
By Jace Weber
© 2008

(Pick a sad lilting CW tune of your choice to sing this beauty to)


At first it was a great idea and plan,
stocked up on junk food and beer in the can.
Hot dogs and chili,
Doritos by the case,
Who came in and messed up my place?

Cartoons on the TV and then blood and gore,
Guns leaning against the couch, even my old 44.
Toilet seat is up,
Dishwasher door is down,
Even the air is lookin' a little brown.

(chorus)
(lol)
Ohhhhhh Darlin' when you left me for the big ol cit-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I couldn't hardly hope for a better time for me.
But soon it got lonely and sorry as could be,
I'm living on Twizzlers and Kentucky Whisk-eeeeee.

I ain't seen the dog for nigh on 2 days,
Last time I seen her was in the kitchen thru the haze.
The bathroom smells funny,
And the sink is a mess,
Hate like hell to do it, but I'll clean it I guess.

When you git ready to come back to the countr-eeeee,
Give me a ring or two honey, wo-wontcha please?
To let me know you're comin',
There's a few things to do,
Like get rid of the stench here, that smells just like poo.

(chorus)

Ohhhhhh Darlin' when you left me for the big ol cit-eeeeeeeeeeeeeee
I couldn't hardly hope for a better time for me.
But soon it got lonely and sorry as could be,
I'm living on Twizzlers and Kentucky Whisk-eeeeee.

I'm a living on Twizzlers...... and Kentucky Whisk-eeeeee.




***************************************
Yup, I'm still home alone! :-)




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I Am Man. Hear Me Roar.

Remember that old Helen Reddy song, "I Am Woman"? I always hated that song... :-) but I'm borrowing the catch line in it. Why? 'Cause for this whole week, I am celebrating my manliness.

Why this week you ask? Because Sally is gone for the week and I'm "bachin". I am MAN!

Sal's mom flew into Lambert down in St. Louis and she went down there to spend the week with her mom and our daughter Nicky and the grandbabies. Nicky's husband went on a fishing trip, so it's a great big Italian women fest. No place for men or folks that "believe" they have the equal constitution of a barefoot woman armed with nothing more than a pasta ladle and a harsh look. Cross them and they will kill you with one swipe of that thing.

So here I sit. *ahhhhh* I stripped furniture all afternoon and right now, I'm sitting in my recliner, laptop on my lap, cold beer at my right hand, remote control at left.... and I'm watching cartoons... in my underwear.

I freakin' rule!

I had a salami sandwich for dinner with chips and some dip I whipped up. I ate in the living room, 'cause I'm a man and I like my food where I watch my television. A little while ago, I had a big stinky cigar. ROAR!! I have farted when I felt like it, I have belched when I felt the least little twinge of pressure on my stomach. Loud.

I am using dishes right out of the dishwasher and my shoes are in the middle of the floor. I haven't shut the bathroom door once yet! ROAR!!!

In short, I have reverted to the habits of a 12 year old, and I'm wallowing in it because I've been left unsupervised and now... I'm gonna have some ice cream. ROAR!



PS: Yes I know that link way up there that said it was Helen Reddy, went to a Slash and Steve Winwood version of Hendrix's "Hey Joe"... but wasn't that alot more impressive than Helen? :-) BTW that ending solo that Slash tears into... wow.



The following picture has nothing to do with my post today at all... but it's for my friend, Kent. He sent me a great writing of his on the subjects of environmentalists and diversity in our society...





Thanks Kent.

It Happened While I Was In The Bathroom.

Last night, while Sal and I were at The Round Barn Blues show, a little incident happened that further reinforced the fact that.... things happen to me in and around the bathroom. Maybe it's just that I notice them. Hell I dunno... but it's usually entertaining.

We were at the RBB's and they had "not enough port o johns" there and I was in a fairly good sized line with a bunch of other folks for the 4 unisex johns that they had. It was pretty dang chilly, like I could see my breath, and a couple of college age girls were in line behind me, one of 'em was pretty well trashed... but still "interesting". The intoxicated one had gone into teeth chattering mode and was having a bit of difficulty containing herself and her bladder. She scootched up as close as she could to my backside and stood there huddled against me trying to warm up when she whispered... as only a drunk college chick can... "Hey mister. You're not gonna go in there and poop or something are you?" "No... lol"

Her girlfriend broke out in the giggles... I did too. I gave her my place in line, she got the communal TP from her girlfriend, thanked me profusely, and stumbled down the little hill to the portapotty.

*youth*

A bunch of years ago, I walked into the men's room at a mall and there was a real normal looking guy, standing at the sink.... washing his socks like that was what everyone did. I don't know anymore about this guy's story, because more than anything else, a scene like that says to me "Do not touch". I didn't.


I went into a restroom at WalMart once. Both urinals were out of order, with the signs hanging on 'em. I went to one of the 2 stalls... the first one was... "Lord have mercy" wrong. Dumbo had obviously had an emergency in there, so I went down to the Handicapped stall. The big roomy one. I was standing there, just getting started with my business when the door to the stall blows open and a guy comes running in there with me. He's dancing around behind me real frantic like and I ask him if there's a problem.

His response: I gotta poop, I gotta poop, I gotta poop really really bad, I gotta poop.

Me: Buddy, you are NOT speeding things up for me by being in my stall with me.

Poop man: I gotta go really really bad.

Me: Seriously dude, you need to just hold on a few seconds.

Poop man: I can't.

Me: *calling it quits and just zipping up* Have at it buddy. *walking out*

I get outside and Sally is waiting for me and I'm guessing I must have one of those looks on my face that you never see your spouse have, 'cause she just saw me and started laughing and said "what happened?".



Hoo boy, huh? :-)

Hey, Remember Ol' Smooshy?

Way back in January in this post (click) I showed off a little present from Sally. Christmas food on a stick, Smooshy the special snowman. Well... me being me, and enjoying small scale science experiments, I kept ol' Smooshy around and kept Sal from throwin' him out.

Oh yes I did.


From January 2nd 2008







Here's an updated picture of this Christmas time confection from 07. He seems to be holding up pretty well, considering the condition that it was in when I got him.







Special huh?


I'm a youtube junkie, I watch a few videos on there most everyday. For the most part I learned to play mandolin by watching instructional videos on youtube and just watching other players. It's a heckuva resource on a jillion different topics. Anyhow, here's a vid of Tom Rush. Remember him? Cute tune. The Remember Song.