Write My Blog For Me! Yes There Is A Prize!

Call it whatever you want... Lazy, Bloggers Slump, Dog Days Desperation. I'm gonna take the easy way out.

Here's the deal.

YOU write a blog post for me. Email it to me with the subject line "Cowguy, you lazy blogger you".

When I pick a winner, that person is gonna be the recipient of one swell prize. I'll stick it in the mail and in a few short days you'll have it in your hot little hands. And I'm known for great prizes... just ask Sal. At least once a week she looks at me and says "Boy, you're a real prize Weber."

I swell with pride.

Get your/my blogging post in the emails to me by Tuesday evening (08-26-08)to qualify for this extravaganza!


What? A catch?

You say "Okay, I've read your blog long enough to know that there's a catch to this seemingly simple contest, oh Jace The Magnificent." (lol I added in the magnificent part 'cause it sounded so freakin' awesome)

Yes cousin. There IS a catch.

I get to be you. You write that blog post just like it's your own life. If you went roller skating on ice, if you let monkeys hit you with sticks, if you met up with fame and fortune in a Roman bathhouse... whatever you had happen.... I get to insert myself into your post as you.

I'll do the dirty work (I'm not a complete bum)of changing you to me in your entry, so don't go to the effort of doing that. Write it just as it's yours, 'cause it is. Make it a factual event or day or activity in your life.

But it's gonna be mine.

:-)

I'll post the winning entry and when you get the prize in your mailbox, you gotta send me a delightful picture of yourself holding. (No naked pictures) (Ok, naked is fine too.) (Wait, use your own judgment on the naked thing... I've got a tender stomach).

It really is a nice prize too! I promise!




BLOG ME!




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Glitz and Glamour

Real brief tonite. I've got a video to show you... and I KNOW there's a moral to it, I just can't quit laughing long enough to really put my mind to what exactly that moral might be.

Hoo boy... LOL






lol g'night sweet prince.




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This Is The Sawdust Part Today

Just a little test, checking the water a bit. I added a little Etsy shop for some frames and etc... just some stuff I put together when I've got some extra time.

It's over yonder --------> in the sidebar.

Cool eh?

I've been building frames for... a looong time. Get a little overwhelmed with it sometimes around Christmas, but folks still seem to want 'em.

Anyhow a little prose and poetry about the frames. :-)

I don't go much in the way of mass production with them, pretty much one at a time. I make up all my own frame stock... nothing is bought as a kit or whatever. I use native Missouri woods in the rough, mill it, glue, wrangle it, join it, finish it... and, well... that's 'bout it. Basically just take some lumber and throw away everything that ain't a frame. I don't drive nails in them, (shudder) and I don't drive those nasty corrugated corner fastener things in the back of the miters. (gag)

Just regular, old school craftsmanship... wood to wood joinery with a little glue and some etc. etc. as well. Depends on the frame. Some get more Etc. than others.

The name Craftsmanframes (the boneheads at Etsy wouldn't let me use a space or an underscore) aligns with the style of furniture and accessories that I've sorta specialized in. Craftsman, or Arts and Crafts, or Mission. Take your pick.


So there you go. Take a look. Warm up the plastic. Take a little piece of my heart baby.





New puppy at the Jace N Sal hacienda.


"Stella"





She's EXCELLENT at peeing and pooping.

Watch your step!





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Kidnapped!

Well... today was my birthday. The 50th one. Nah... didn't bother me. Wanna know why?

'Course you do.

I've been havin' too much fun.


Sunday morning I was kidnapped. It started off with being blindfolded and driven to an unknown destination and loaded into a vintage RV.





And then, the fun started. Jeanne (our harp players wife) had this brainstorm for a great birthday party and bumped heads with Sally and the others in the band and it came to be. lol


We played some music whilst on the roadtrip to the unknown destination (unknown to me that is lol)





We traveled a ways, stopped and picked up the proper quantities of adult beverages and then it was on to PRESENTS! Sally had fixed up a big elefunky bag with 50, count 'em... 50 presents. Of course there were lots of "poignant" age related gifts.

Ahhhhhhhh Tucks.





Then we laughed some...





...and we got the unknown destination. Les Bourgeois winery down by Rocheport, MO . Absolutely beautiful. Set on a bluff above the Missouri river.





The guys had made reservations at the restaurant at the winery... we ate like pigs then had to walk up "Heart Attack Hill" to get back to the parking lot. This is me having my 7th heart attack of the walk.






Jeanne had the proper attire on...





The girls got to show off their Scooby Do bandaids. Everyone got one just because.






Then we unloaded and played a little music under the shade trees at the winery.





...played a little slide mandolin while I forget the words to my own song to everyones amusement. (it was the liqour...lol)





And then loaded back up in the tour bus and played some more after a quick stop at Sam's Club.






The quantities of adult beverages was starting to show on my face and I'd also lost the ability to properly orient the front to back on my hat.





And then we were back, still laughing and posed in front of Ilene (it has a leftward list) the Keota tour bus.






We spotted another tour bus in the parking lot that a couple of the band members seemed to think we needed...






Nah... Ol' Ilene will do. 440 cubic inches of Detroit superpower AND shag carpeting!

Don't get no better than that folks.







One of the best times I've ever had... my face hurt at the end of the day from non-stop laughing. Thanks to my wife and my friends. Jeanne for being the wheel woman and Ronnie and Mary Beth for the use of Ilene all day.

LOL I wanna do it again next week!





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BACON!

Just so you know, bloggers love bacon. I love it. You love it. Aunt Alice loves it. Your dog loves it. Pretty much everyone loves bacon... 'cept pigs of course. They kinda get caught on the short end of the stick with the whole bacon thing seein' as how they're made of bacon.

One of the posts on my blog that consistently gets more hits than it deserves, through Google searches is about Peanut Butter and Bacon. And with the new Atkins diet thing going on here at our house... there'd be a whole boxcar load of pig being poked down our pie holes.

There's only so many kinds of bacon in the meat case at the store and we've tried 'bout all of 'em... and there ain't a hill of beans difference between any of 'em actually... until Sal brought home the cheapo store brand the other day. I opened up the package and just laughed.





Cousin, that right there is bacon that was hacked offa hog with a dull machete and packaged up by Helen Keller. These folks just don't have their heart in the bacon business as far as attractive meat presentations go. That's sad. All hacked up randomly, piled in the package. I dunno...

It fried up just dandy, was pretty tasty, a little thick in spots.. but "okay". I like my bacon on the crispy side, everyone around here want's me to be the chef when there's bacon on the menu, but with this stuff, you hit one of those thick chunks that I've fried crispy... and holy crap man, you can bust a tooth!





Tell me, when was the last time you looked at a blog and found pictures of bacon frying? It's a special place... lol



Oh OH... this morning I walked out to the truck and found this.





Now that'll make you say "fiddlesticks" (or something lol), but then I walked around to the other side of the truck.


Oh you know it's coming.







That front one probably still had 5 pounds of air in it, so it really doesn't qualify as "flat" technically.

Macon County has been spreading gravel on the roads up by the farm and musta got a pretty good deal on the rocks that no one else wanted. North Missouri Ninja Razor Rock. I took Sal's car to the farm. lol




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Goatee ........................................... Saver

I got this thing in my email a couple days ago and was immediately sent into hysterics. I laughed so hard I shot my spleen out of my esophagus, it bounced across the living room floor, the dog grabbed it, took it outside, dug a hole and buried it.

*snap!* Just like that!


Here go ahead and click and look around the GoateeSaver website.

I'm putting this one right up there with the ol' Flowbee and Ron Popiels head paint in terms of "Hair Hilarity". (looks like Ron mighta sold out his hair in a can business to some good ol' boys down in Collierville, TN. Can't wait to see "Teeth In A Can" comin' up next)

The first thing was this dude demonstrating in a video how it works. This thing looks to be either a Hannibal Lechter mask, left over from last Halloween or some "special" bondage session with Gretchen Garbonzo and her flaming whip. I just kinda stared at the video with little muffled, whimpering giggles.

Then I went to the FAQ section on the GoateeSaver website, 'cause I was sure that one of the frequently asked questions HAD to be "Is this for real?". Nope. It ain't there. I bet at least every 3rd email this guy gets reads something like....

"Dear Mr. GoateeSaver,

After perusing your wonderful and magical GoateeSaver website I have 2 questions.

1. Is this for real?

2. How does a man get so stymied about trimming his goatee that he has to have a template?

3. (I know I said only 2 questions but I need to know this) Do you live in your Grandma's basement and read a lot of comics?

4. (yeah I'm a rule breaker) Does wearing this enable the user to talk like Darth Vader? 'Cause if it does... "I" want one! If not, think about adding that feature, and while you're at it another model that makes you sound like Scooby Do! That'd be awesome.

Thank you

Ben (with the screwed up goatee in Missouri)Dover"



Hey I'm on a diet too! Sal and I are doing the Atkins induction thing again... She's lost 4, I've lost 10. Worst part... no evening Yukon Jack and 7up. Best part... LOTS of steak and fish!


Okay my buddies Sandi and Jennifer over at "Minnesota vs. Texas - Bloggin' Through Life One Goat At A Time" sent me a blogging thingamig/challenge/quest/whickerbill/I don't know what... to post a joke and then get all of y'all to post a joke and pretty soon we're all gonna be laughing our spleens out from Minnesota to Brownsville Station. I can't imagine what that'd look like, but my dog sure is gonna be busy.

So here's my joke, I've worn it out. My family smiles pleasantly, as if on cue when they sense it's coming on.


2 Cannibals are sitting down eating a clown. One of 'em stops eating, looks up and says "This taste funny to you?"



Ba da bing.



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Elefunks And Hornets

A town just North of us here just had some graffiti in the news. Now keep in mind, clean out here in the middle of Kornfield Kounty you just don't see a whole helluva lot of graffiti, so ANY graffiti is evidently newsworthy. Anyway someone spray painted, on an old unused and mostly abandoned (good Lord... took me 3 minutes to spell abandoned. Must be that lick I took on the head the other day getting in the car)an object de art that "I" thought was pretty funny.





Around the picture of the somewhat stylish pink Elephant they wrote "McPherson St. Elefunks". I think maybe it was the word "Elefunk" that actually set me off. Heck I even stole the image and made it my new MSN avatar I liked it so much. I guess folks are up in arms over this catastrophe enough that it actually made the evening news. LOL Seriously... here's the article from KTVO. I love the comment there at the bottom "I hope they all go to Elejail!" :-) Awesome.

Actually it beats the graffiti that we had through the neighborhood a couple months back. Some youngsters decided to spray paint 4 foot sized representations of male genitalia on the sides of some grain bins scattered around. I dunno what that means, but they were lousy artists... or deformed. I dunno which. Yes, I took pictures. No, you sicko's, I ain't posting 'em.

Okay, last item is some pretty awesome pictures. I looked out the window yesterday and watched "something" going up the side of the tree here in the yard. I grabbed the camera and what I saw was amazing. A hornet had popped himself a Cicada and was in the process of hustling that ol boy up the tree to his home for a Cicada snackin'! He the thing gripped with his legs and was still climbing with some of his legs, and was beating his wings like crazy getting this gigantic load up the tree.

I didn't reduce the pics any, so click 'em to make 'em big and personal.

Also, I'd rather you not snatch the pics... just link back to the blog if you wanna share anything here, that gives me a warm fuzzy feeling when you do that.










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