Beavers And Ducks

I hesitate to even relate this story, but then Humiliation is my middle name. My parents thought that was real funny when I was just a baby. On the bright side, you won't run into many others with that middle name.

Okay, there was a movie a few years ago called "Bandits" with Bruce Willis and Billy Bob Thornton as bank robbers. Not a bad movie but definitely not a great movie. As with 'bout any movie ever made there's one line that you can pull outta the flick and use it.

There's a scene where Billy Bob's character "Terry" is asleep and he wakes up in a panic and blurts out "Beavers and ducks!". It cracked me up then and it still does now.

So our friends Gary and Jolene were over here the other evening, we had a couple of drinks and were just sitting here visiting. For whatever reason the TV was on as well with the volume low on something benign. The conversation had moved into politics and.............. I drifted off to sleep. More like that state of mind where you *think* you know what's going on in the room around you, but there's some confusion with what you're hearing on the TV, the conversation, and some old dude that's moving the furniture around in the room in your little dream that you've moved into in your sleepy little punkin.



I snapped into consciousness and with all my might I said loudly... "FENG SHUI".


The conversation stopped and the other 3 people in the room all spun their heads to look at me. I tried to make a save.

"You know... Feng Shui. Where every object has a correlation to every other object in your being and the arranging of 'em to affect your life and stuff. That's the thing you're trying to think of right now."


They just stared at me with their mouths open 'cause no one was trying to think of Feng Shui. Not in that conversation... possibly not ever.

Finally Gary spoke. "Did you just have a stroke? What the hell?

To which I replied once again. "Feng Shui" 'cause I just couldn't give it up and my brain wouldn't fully engage with the mix of a couple of cocktails, sleep and etc.



For the past few days now I can just be sitting here minding my own business and Sal will walk by me or stop in front of me, say "Feng Shui" and walk on... giggling at what is evidently the funniest damned joke of the century.


I bring it all on myself.





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