Bow Your Heads...

As much as a shock as this may come to some... if not all of you, I have frozen to death. I am no longer among the warm and breathing. I am Ded.

D.

E.

D.

Ded.


The TOD (tractor of doom) has deceased once again, just like me. It's in the shop for it's seemingly bi-weekly overhaul. In it's place Uncle Satan brought over an even worse tractor than the TOD to use to feed the cattle. I honestly didn't think there could be a worse tractor, but there is. I drove it today and expired on the seat of it feeding hay to about 100 head of bovines in 10 degree temperatures with snow.

I spent 2 days getting this POS loaner tractor started in the freezing cold, with nary a plug in heater in existence on it... cause they normally don't need to plug in their tractors down in Hell. See it's really warm down there year round, though that'd be a crappy reason to vacation there. I finally got the damned thing started a few hours ago with much application of ether and hanging an electric heater on the side of the engine block, much like you'd see any other idiot on earth hang say... a live beaver on the side of a city bus. Awkwardly and unhappy.

I drove Uncle Satan's International 966 to the pasture without much damage, I fed the first hay only loosing the tips of my fingers and toes, but by the time I'd gotten finished it was somewhat more serious. My eyelids were frozen. One open, one shut. My lips had turned blue. I put them in my coat pocket for safekeeping just in case I wanted to play the trumpet later in life.

When I stood up to get off the seat of the tractor, parts of me did not. I turned to see the boys just basking there on the bright red, icy cold, hard vinyl seat. I bid them farewell and climbed down, realizing my shoes and feet were still in position on the clutch and brake pedals of the tractor.

It's just as well. I won't be needing any of those once important body parts ever again. I have frozen to death.

Sally will be raffling off my lips in the spring to help pay for tractor repairs I'm sure. Please send her your raffle entry in a timely manner.




Keeping "frozen" as the key word, I give you Vinnie(Todd) and Shaldeen in the frozen food section.







http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tncd84NYJ1Y






*sigh*





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