Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Your Car Is On Fire

I dunno why my mind drifts to the places it does, but it does and I've got no control over it. It's like it's got a mind of it's own.

Whoa. That's kinda out there. My mind has a mind of it's own....



I was pouring windshield washer fluid in my truck this morning and remembered a story my buddy (who will remain nameless)(oh what the hell, it was Gary) Gary told me that happened to him several years ago. He was at a gas station and had just finished filling his car with gas and paying for it and there was a car pulled up to the pump beside him with a couple of guys standing beside it and the inside of the car was filling up with smoke.

He said the guys looked to be in their late teens and they were pretty panicked about an amp or something in the back seat or under the back seat that had evidently caught on fire and didn't know quite what to do... when one of 'em opened a back door. The fresh blast of oxygen caused the backseat to flare up and the 2 young men went into a full blown meltdown. He said one of 'em just stood there holding the sides of his face screaming while he jogged but didn't move outta the spot he was in, like an invisible force held him there despite his best jogging efforts. The other guy was running back and forth between the door of the filling station and the stationary jogger dude yelling "CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!!" over and over.

Gary seeing the situation escalate dramatically in mere seconds did what he thought was the right thing. There was a huge mountainous stack of windshield washer fluid stacked there between the pumps, he grabbed 2 jugs, knifed the tops open with his pocket knife and threw the stuff in the backseat of the blazing sedan.

What happened next was unexpected by everyone in the heat of the moment. See... windshield washer fluid doesn't freeze. Know why? No? Cause it's mostly alcohol. Alcohol is pretty flammable.

Whooof.







Gary said the 2 guys both screamed in horror. The one that was actually moving ran to the highway and resumed screaming from out there at a safer distance. The stationary jogger picked up momentum and screamed louder.

Gary? Uh... he got in his car and left figuring that he'd pretty much done everything he could to help 'em out and it didn't work out so hot and the whole idea of hanging out at a bunch of gas pumps while a car was being gutted by fire... didn't appeal to him too much. He met 2 fire engines within a 1/4 mile.



He said he always wondered how those 2 guys retold this story.








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18 comments:

Candy's daily Dandy said...

I know it's horrible to laugh, but that was funny. Ooops....

Reenie said...

I'm dying here... dying. Good God you are a funny person and such a great story teller - or is it storyteller? No matter, you just tell it good!

Scope said...

can't.catch.breath.

Jerry said...

I'm sitting here watching PBS - legendary comedians. I'm expecting your face to show up at any time. :) :)

Greenmare said...

I guess when you have been as much help as you can, it's time to leave. especially if any cops are going to arrive.
man oh man I'm sooooooooooo glad I wasn't drinking any koolaid!

Sassy Britches said...

"The stationary jogger picked up momentum and screamed louder." This is the point I fell on the floor.

Bella@That damn expat said...

ahahahah
What an awesome story!
Gary leaving floored me.
Thanks for the laugh in the morning!

Sunny said...

OMG! Hope, Gary was not arrested afterall :)

Sally said...

DH had to get up off the couch to see just what I was laughing so hard about. Now we're both sitting here, tears streaming down our faces and unable to stop laughing. Good Lord! Thank you SO MUCH for telling this story.

The Dental Maven said...

Was Gary a Chemistry major?

Queen Goob said...

And Gary is currently doing what - eight to ten in the county jail for willful or malicious burning of property with criminal or fraudulent intent?

For My Hookers... said...

This was an awesome read to get my day started.

I'm secretly hoping your buddy Gary is NEVER around when I'm in need of assistance. ;-)>

Nej said...

Horrible, but funnier than heck!!!

It reminds me of an ex-boyfriend I had. His dad drove a junker Chevy Blazer back and forth to work. One morning, the weather was horrible, so he picked up a bunch of us and took us all to school (The school didn't close for bad weather, but the buses did. If you lived in the country, you were s**t out of luck.) Anyway, all of a sudden the Blazer had flames shooting out from under the hood. We pulled over and he grabbed a jug of washer fluid to put it out.

The story ends about the same way. The Blazer was completed gutted by the fire, and we got a ride to school in the ambulance that arrived scene with the fire truck. :-)

Stacie said...

omg, that is horrible and HILARIOUS...

good thing to know about windshield fluid...

Gwen said...

OMG! That is too funny! I think I might have done the same thing.

Giggle Pixie said...

That was hysterical! I think I peed a little...

Thank you for that. :-)

Dr Zibbs said...

Holy Crap! Great story!

Reenie said...

I just came back to lurk and re-read the pump story. Still laughing. :)