Saturday, March 28, 2009

It's Just A Cold

Awakened at first with itchy eyes,
in the corners, a crusty granola surprise.
Afternoon comes, a burny taste in my throat,
at the mirror I stick out my tongue... "ahhh" like a goat.

At dinner my steak tastes like roasted wombat,
or maybe possum, maybe cat.
I don't know, I don't care,
I breathe through my mouth...drool everywhere.

Daylight comes... I want to go home,
Day Oh, Daaay Oh, leave me alone.
I roll to sit my feet on the floor,
Nevermore. Nevermore. Nevermore....

Then snot, and more snot,
a veritable tub of snot.
Snot from my sinus' snot from my head,
Snot flows heavily... soon I'll be dead.

I rub and I blow my nose is so raw,
Discount store Kleenex should be against the law.
My voice is all raspy, I squawk when I talk,
Oh great more snot, before I blow, I balk.

And then a chorus of angels sing,
All hail, all hail, glory to the snot king.
It starts to dry up, not a little but a lot,
French fried crap on a pogo stick... here comes the cough.

I cough and I cough and I cough,
and I cough and I cough and I cough,
and I cough and I cough...
and I cough, AND I COUGH!

My lungs fall out onto the floor,
screw 'em, I don't need 'em no more.
And then the mysterious yellow substance that starts to expectorate,
Expectorate is an awful word, but I've used it... too late.

I eat pills, drink water, eat crackers, drink juice,
I've taken in so much fluid I crap like a goose.
And then *snap* just like that, it suddenly abates,
Colds. I'm done rhyming. I think I've got a fever now.



mo.stoneskin said...


I went through all that effort to switch your steak for some wombat meat only for you to not notice.

All that wasted effort.

lilsis said...

Two words...


WowsRose said...

I came home with a feber yesterday. This morning, I have no voice. Thanks for sharing!

I have a feber and the only cure is more cowbell!

Sassy Britches said...

It took me awhile to get past you as a goat. Bwwwhhhhaaaaa!

Rest up, friend.

Kim said...

I'm glad you're feeling better now. Sounds quite unpleasant.

Sass said...

Cowguy, much better the snot
Than the shits.
By the way, yesterday,
Did you perchance cook some grits?

Feel better my friend...;)

Stacie said...

feel better!

Candy's daily Dandy said...

To use the words of a very wise man I know; That was a 12 on the 10point scale!!

Loved it! Hope you're feeling better.

I think my favorite part (besides the lungs that fell on the floor that you don't need anymore) "with itchy eyes in the corners, a crusty granola surprise."

Brilliant. Even sick-you still got it! Get well soon.

the iNDefatigable mjenks said...

I completely understand composing a lyrical poem--a panegyric, even--once one sets his eyes upon this cute little guy!

Jerry said...

Awwww, did it hurt and hab a tempachur?

Nice to know the neurons function even when the rest of the organism rebels...... :)

Susan said...

Um, I hope you feel better? You got me at Snot.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

Contagious lyrics I tell ya! Contagious!


- Jennifer

whitey said...

Drove pass a billboard the other day it said GOT SNOT?? I could go back and get the number and see if they can help you out?

Nej said...

Buying cheap tissues is against the law in my house...punishable by death or dismemberment!!! :-)

Hope you get to feeling better soon!!!!