It's Just A Cold

Awakened at first with itchy eyes,
in the corners, a crusty granola surprise.
Afternoon comes, a burny taste in my throat,
at the mirror I stick out my tongue... "ahhh" like a goat.

At dinner my steak tastes like roasted wombat,
or maybe possum, maybe cat.
I don't know, I don't care,
I breathe through my mouth...drool everywhere.

Daylight comes... I want to go home,
Day Oh, Daaay Oh, leave me alone.
I roll to sit my feet on the floor,
Nevermore. Nevermore. Nevermore....

Then snot, and more snot,
a veritable tub of snot.
Snot from my sinus' snot from my head,
Snot flows heavily... soon I'll be dead.

I rub and I blow my nose is so raw,
Discount store Kleenex should be against the law.
My voice is all raspy, I squawk when I talk,
Oh great more snot, before I blow, I balk.

And then a chorus of angels sing,
All hail, all hail, glory to the snot king.
It starts to dry up, not a little but a lot,
French fried crap on a pogo stick... here comes the cough.

I cough and I cough and I cough,
and I cough and I cough and I cough,
and I cough and I cough...
and I cough, AND I COUGH!

My lungs fall out onto the floor,
screw 'em, I don't need 'em no more.
And then the mysterious yellow substance that starts to expectorate,
Expectorate is an awful word, but I've used it... too late.

I eat pills, drink water, eat crackers, drink juice,
I've taken in so much fluid I crap like a goose.
And then *snap* just like that, it suddenly abates,
Colds. I'm done rhyming. I think I've got a fever now.






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