Friday, May 16, 2008

A Clarification To The Term "Good Ol' Boy"

By now most of you at least know of our son Jake. He's an independent welder, lives on the road, makes above average money, single, loves what he does, likes to go very very fast... and as much as he hates to be aligned with this stereotype... he's a Good Ol' Boy. He's all cutting edge with what's cool and what everyone is doing, very popular with the ladies, but by crappy, the boy is a redneck. Some of it possibly is "Good Ol' Boy by osmosis" or "redneck by proxy" just because of his buddies that he hangs with.

He'd never admit to it. Seriously... never. Probably would call you a name for suggesting it. That's what I'm here for though.

Let me take you back to yesterday morning here at the Cowguy household. I wake up, there's an extra set of boots by the backdoor, which usually means things got a little out of hand and someone couldn't make it to their own home and crashed in the guest bedroom here. This time it was Joe. I sauntered into the bathroom and as I entered into fellowship with nature, I gazed out the bathroom window and saw something that literally made me laugh out loud.

Let me introduce you to a Good Ol' Boy's "mud truck"... Joe's S10.

*click on any of the pics to see 'em big*

I wandered out with the camera to inspect the thing. One blinker light gone, one hanging by the wires... more mud flung on it than exists in the whole state of Arizona... And, at least 12 1/2 acres of good Missouri bottomland hung in the front bumper. That right there had to be a teeth jarring experience to lodge that in the bumper like that.

Let's walk on around. True Good Ol' Boys don't need unnecessary equipment like say, rear view mirrors. When I asked about 'em I got the answer "HA! They were just there yesterday!"

I'm sure they were. :-)

And what does a Good Ol Boy always have right handy in his 4X4? Hell Yeah! Guns! I peered in at a random smattering of weaponry flung asunder in yon truck.

Before y'all get all up in arms (no pun intended lol), these are not the guns of some gang banger looking to hold up the local 7-11 and rape the Slurpee machine. No, these are the guns of Good Ol Boys that might possibly just wonder "Hey whut do ya think a 45 hollow point will do to this can of beer?" "I dunno, but it'll blow a big ol hole, the size of Harley Jacksons ol' lady's hind end, in the mud down in the bottom of the creek bed." In unison. "huh huh huh"

What might you find in the back of a Good Ol Boy's truck after a night of mayhem such as this one suffered? Horror. That's all... just Horror.

I hope to hell that boy washes out that lunch box before he uses it on the job coming up next week. Looks like some crackers, a snack bar, a can of Copenhagen chewing tobacco and "things" that I just don't wanna know.

So there you go. Today the 2 of 'em are out at the KC drag strip with their bikes tweaking and tuning and trying to see who's the fastest. I've got my money on Jake, although Joe just put Nitrous Oxide on his... yes, he really did. Lordy...

I can't really say much, 'cause I've done just as bad... some things much worse. They're hard working young men, but when it's a week or two off, ho-lee crap! Outta their way, 'cause they're Good Ol' Boys.



Linda said...

I have a son just like yours! Work hard/play hard. Spend that good money on great toys! At least my son admits that he's a redneck. His favorite t-shirt says "Redneck and proud of it!!" City folk just don't get it.

Keep the great stories coming! I always get a good laugh out of your blog. If you can't laugh at your self, who can you laugh at?

Fletch said...

What I'd like to know is how the hell the window stayed so clean? Even if it was down when he sprayed hisself, the stuff woulda soaked on down in the door, doncha think? Wonder where that mirror is...

Brent said...

Eh, side view mirrors..way over-rated :)

Jerry said...

Well, I'm was just shaking my head looking at that. LOL!!

No other comments come to mind. I think you said it all. :)