I kinda stumbled through the day today, it was a weird one. I'd guess what set the tone was the funeral I attended this morning. I had a cousin pass away that was a couple years younger than me... her health was pretty good, she just went. Of course she'd been on my mind the week leading up to the funeral. We were together some as kids, but mostly just "howdys" at family reunions and when we'd run into one another in town for the past 30 years or so. We weren't real close, but I really couldn't put my finger right on my feeling until this morning.
After the funeral, several of my cousins and I were standing out on the sidewalk chatting, smoking, catching up, etc. and someone mentioned that this is only the second cousin that we've lost out of pretty humongous clan. When Stuart died it 'bout ruined me, we were 15 and 16. He contracted bone cancer and lasted about 2 years of misery, the loss of a leg, radiation... the whole gamut.
Even the service was catching for me. Pam's regular pastor was unable to hold the service and her family had requested a local guy, that as far as I know isn't a preacher of any sort... but gave a memorable, and at times mesmerizing and quite touching memorial service. The whole point that Jack made with his memorial for Pam was taking care of the undone, saying the unsaid and fixing wrongs before you regret them forever.
This is the second person my age to go on in the past 2 weeks that I've had some sort of relationship with. I want to say "young person" but we aren't exactly young any longer at 50, but we're not old either. Anyway, made me run a whole lot of stuff through my head today.
So... there's that part of my day. Sleep will take care of a lot of it and the rest of it I hope to address in my life as I come to it.
Ta Da!
Getting the cattle up in the barn tomorrow morning and gonna vaccinate the calves. Should be a good day.
I promise to be funnier next time. :-) lol
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4 comments:
Jace,
I am sorry for the loss of your cousin and friend. I can relate to your experiences- this past winter we lost a friend as well as my father in law. It reminded me to tell the people that matter how I feel and the importance that I place on that relationship. I became more aware of my own mortality and I try not to not take for granted the many good things that I have blessed with in life.
Thanks for sharing your stories- whether they are happy or sad. Storytelling is an art - one that you do very well.
Regards from a Western Canadian Quilter,
Anna
Sorry to hear about your loss, Jace. Gotta say, though, that "she just went," isn't a bad way to do it. Oh, and I think I really need to take exception with the part about 50 not being young. Wait! What?! You're obviously not in your right mind right now and I'm real sad for you, so I'll over look it this time. Death, I think, reminds us to look at our own lives and how we're living them. And isn't it funny that as we get older, we're forced to do that more and more often? I guess there's some purpose to that--almost like it was designed that way! I hope you're feeling a little more "normal" tomorrow--however you'd define that.
Can't always be funny, Jace. Sometimes "life" happens to all of us . . even a hilariously funny guy like you. Just as we come to your blog for a laugh, we can also get a life lesson from you sometimes too. Sorry about your cousin. It's always sad when we lose someone that we consider to be too young to go.
My sincerest condolences to you, Jace, and to her family. Losing someone is never, ever easy, from puppies and kittens to old men and women, and the splattering of life in-between. Time heals, but, man, sometimes the "time" just goes on forever.
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