Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Faster Faster Faster!

My son has spent his entire driving career going faster and dealing with the expensive consequences of it. The number of traffic stops... I can't begin to put a number on them. What boggles the mind is that they're all self inflicted, over and over and over and over.

He had a motorcycle when he was just a little guy, then we moved on to racing go karts... not the go karts that putt putt around a little track, but flat out ass hauling little rocket sleds. Then, then he turned 16. I did the Dadly thing and told him that if he got a speeding ticket I'd help him out on the first one, after that he was on his own.

He used up that coupon in the first 2 months.

I'm surprised it wasn't sooner.

He was carrying out groceries at a local store and combine that pay scale with his speed habit and getting tickets "fixed" (you can do that in Missouri) by getting a lawyer to deal with the P.A. and paying about double what the face value of the ticket was to have it reduced to non-moving violations... that was ruining him financially. Heh...

And he reveled in pushing things to the limit. At one point he had a Ford Ranger truck and for whatever reason he refused to hang the license tag on the front bumper. It's law here that you gotta have at least one tag on the front end of all trucks. I repeatedly told him he really outta get it out there instead of laying in the floor. Finally one day I look out in the driveway and he's actually screwing the thing to the bumper. He comes in and I ask him what finally caused him to take the time to do that. He said "I figure I've run out of chances... I got stopped 14 times for no tags"

I stood there. "Did you say 14 times?" He said "Heh heh... yeah. 14" and walked away grinning. He's a charmer, not a single written violation out of all those stops.

Actually the stories are endless, but I've got a couple of pics. One he took, one his girlfriend snapped. Both are priceless. His sense of humor is astounding.

The first... taken from the drivers seat in his rear view mirror. That's about a $322 picture there.

Makes me laugh everytime I look at it.

This one was just a few days ago down in Houston. Just take in the whole picture... lol

That's my boy.



Just A Chic... said...

My Lord! He must've been born with a freakin horseshoe in his arse! Too funny.

WowsRose said...

That first pic is still one of my all-time-hands-down-favorite pictures ever. The sun beam...the angle. It's ART!

WowsRose said...


I want a tshirt that says:

I survived 18+ hours straight in a truck with my brother driving and all I got was this lousy tshirt.

April said...

Those are great pics! LOL! Especially the first one.

Venom said...

My grown son lives 15 hours away, I miss him, but I don't miss him and his driving 'adventures'. Recently he drove 4 hours (each way) and visited with my parents. Instead of glass(?) there was a towel for a passenger window. Not even taped up, just tucked over the top of the door flapping in the breeze. Explanation? He wouldn't be able to see his side mirror if he taped in up - safety first!

It's February in Canada... funny how I don't recall dropping that kid on his head at all.

Stacie said...

i love the first one too, it is "art" really!

the second one I can't figure out the second one. I see an upside down cop car, hopefully not from your son's doing...and then in the mirror another officer getting out of his car....hmmmm.

He sure is lucky.

Queen Goob said...

First thing i saw was your boy laughin' his arse off!!! My kinda guy!

p.s. i now have a 16 year old son driving a truck as well AND to top it off he's an ex-bandolero driver. I feel your pain.

Jennifer and Sandi said...


Funny pictures. How's those insurance rates workin' for him??

Have a safe Wednesday!
- Jennifer

Bella@That damn expat said...

"That's about a $322 picture there. "

Tee hee.

Giggle Pixie said...

Holy crap! That second picture? That's just a freakin' goldmine!!! Your son cracks me up. But that being said...better your son than mine. I'm scared enough to drive with him!! lolol

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna barbecue His ass in molasseses !!!!!!

Greenmare said...

Heavens, and I thought raising 4 girls was enough! What did you feed that kid???? nope, never mind, I totally do NOT want to know!

Cowguy said...

Just a chic: Horseshoe in his ass? I dunno but I'm burning that comment to memory. LOL

Wowsrose: If anyone deserves a Tshirt like that it's you.

April: Thanks! Great pic of you too! ;-)

Venom: Some things we shouldn't ask why about. Just nod, smile and wave.

Stacie: Oh Lord no he didn't cause it and I believe the cop was fine. He just got his unit upside down, Jake was there and took a smile. This was the big chase down in Houston a few days ago.

Queen Goob: LOL I'll say a prayer for you.

Jennifer: Does Officer Princess work in Houston?

Bella: I love it when I get a laugh outta you.

Giggle Pixie: Eh, he's a winner. Gotta love the guy.

Anyoldmoose: Heh. What???

Greenmare: Girls ain't any easier... just different.

Mrs Parks said...

Those pictures are toooo funny!

Boys will be boys..... :)

Sassy Britches said...

Such a proud papa. Taught him everything he knows, eh?

Anonymous said...

what? you never seen smokey & the bandit?

Sunny said...

wow! you must be very proud of your boy!

Kim said...

Those are great pics...priceless. Mine have been making me laugh for 26 years.

Nej said...

Like father like son?? Or did he get it from his mom's side of the family? :-)

Ikle.Kaiy said...

FLIPIN EK..... your boy has guts....... i i dont think i could do that especialy on my rock and with wanting to do alot of charity work well.. painting a mural all over a wall for mum's work pmsl.