Thursday, February 5, 2009

Just The Facts From King Fabulous

So I won an award over at Sassy Britches. I dunno exactly what King Fabulous is, but I guess I'm it and y'all need to bow down before my highness and stuff... most likely. And send me some money and cookies... and liquor.

Here's my award.

King Fabulous. I'm liking that moniker more and more by the minute.

Anyhow because I won this thing and I'm King now, I gotta slip 6 "sexy" secrets (oh Lord oh Lord oh Lord) about myself. I don't know why, but I have to. Being King is weird sometimes.

And you read it right... SEXY. I am the man who can fart the opening cello part of the Jaws theme for about 5 bars, depending on last nights dinner. That is not a sexy secret, that's just to let you know who the heck you're dealing with here.

So I'm gonna do my best and as always... honest until it hurts.

The King's #1 Sexy Secret: I'm a real clean King. Personal hygiene is pretty high on the totem pole for me. I'm not talking 'bout picking up after myself and all that, although I don't do bad, I'm talking 'bout showers and teeth brushing and wiping real good and all that sort of thing.

The King's #2 Sexy Secret: My wife and I met on the internet... a loooongggg time ago. Just about the time Al Gore was putting the finishing touches on all the internetic tubes and stuff, I met Sal. Way before it was fashionable. Hell there was only 347 people on the whole internet! <--- dishonesty.

The King's #3 Sexy Secret: I'm a musician as a hobby. I play guitar, mandolin and I sing... and I write a little. We've got an awesome acoustic band called Keota. We play Americana style music and we fall into the "party band" category. Yee Haw.

The King's #4 Sexy Secret: I look totally bitchin' in a fedora. It's true. I mean it. It's a fact. See?

Eh hem...

The King's #5 Sexy Secret: There is nothing "Green" about me. Whether this is sexy or not, I ain't got a clue. But if you find big ol' immense, half scary bonfires sexy... I'm all over it.

The King's #6 Sexy Secret: (finally) I'm a hopeless romantic. Totally in love with my wife. She shares my sense of humor and makes it real easy. Little get-a-ways... we revel in 'em.

So there you go. 6 Sexy/Not so secrets about me, King Fabulous Blog guy.



Sassy Britches said...

Hail to the KING!

Okay, I gotta admit. Number 6 did me in. Did Sal fall for you in the fedora? 'Cause that's some sexy millinery you got goin' on. :)

Giggle Pixie said...

It's unanimous - you're fabulous!

My sister plays mandolin too! I wish I could learn it, but my old arthritic hands have minds of their own. :-(

And you can fart the first 5 bars of the Jaws theme? Wow...we're not worthy!!!

Jerry said...

I bowed, and now I can't see the rest of your post so you'll have to read it to me........

Thanks again for another few laughs!

Bella@That damn expat said...

You totally rock that fedora.

Anonymous said...

You Look Mahvelous! Fabulous!5 bars of the Jaws must be a riot at the beach.

The Dental Maven said...

The oral hygiene thing brought me great personal joy. You Go Cow Guy!

Sunny said...

King Fabulous Blog guy, you rule!

Anonymous said...

you forgot the sharp rock thing...

Candy's daily Dandy said...

The fedora is sweeet! Lookin good.

I love fire! Bon fires warm my heart and my soul!

I love love too! You and your wife sound a. dor. a. ble. You are lucky.

It's good to be the king.

Jennifer and Sandi said...

*Gasp* you swore! Kings swear? I swear!

Have a super weekend!

- Jennifer

Jennifer and Sandi said...

From pervert to King in just a few days........hahahahaha


Gwen said...

All Hail King Fabulous!

Cowguy said...

Sassy B: Eh she had me before I learned how to wear a hat. :-) Thanks for the award, hope you don't mind the liberty I took with it. lol

Giggle Pixie: The mandolin ain't easy, that's for certain. It's a finger killer and a half compared to the guitar.

Jerry: Ha! Now straighten up!

Bella: And you totally rock for buttering me up like that! heh

Anyoldmoose #1: I moonlight as a foghorn.

Dental Maven: Teef rule!

Sunny: THANKS!

Anyoldmoose #2: Oh yeah.... dang it!

Candy: Aw shucks and yes, it IS good to be king!

Jennifer: Where? I didn't say bad words... you potty mouth you. :-)

Sandi: And so goes my life. I dunno which is more fun though.

Gwen: Yes YES! All hail!

Stacie said...

king of fabulous sexiness!!!

good job loved reading it.