Monday, February 9, 2009

Mrs. Butterworth... You're So Dirty.

Sal and I were out the other day and stopped at an old abandoned farm house of ours. It's kinda interesting what all was left there and what has been tossed in over the years. It's more of a picture tour than anything... put your finger on the scroll wheel and engage your eyeballs knowing that it smells a whole lot better where you're at than it did in the house.

I tried to show off and shove it down for Sal 'cause girls like that sorta stuff. Makes 'em wanna feel your muscles and stuff. I moved it like 14 feet off the foundation but it wouldn't go down.

Here's a creepy back door.

...and a creepy upstairs window. No spooks were looking out of it at the time of the picture takin' but I'm sure some were as soon as we walked away. That's the way they work it.

An odd collection of crap highlighted by a push type lawn mower. That's some nice crap eh?

Here's some more crap, an odd collection of milk bottles in a crate. All were empty. I was thirsty. The story of my life.

No it's not.

This apparently was someones good idea of an entertainment center or something. A record player on a tv. May be the very first karaoke machine. Probably invented by some prehistoric media consultant named Willie Peener or something. I'm just taking stabs at this one.

I wonder if this guy ever remembered parking his bike here... maybe he lost his newspaper route and just turned his back on biking forever and ever... The speedometer is stuck at 50 mph, maybe that's a tip to the story.

OH oh oh! More crap. Nifty eh?

An EXCELLENT find. I threw down some major toe tappin' tunes with this plaster of paris fiddle I found. A regular hoe down. YEEEE HAWWWW.

I'm pretty certain this is an original snapshot of the last supper. Yeah it said JC Penney Photo Studio down in the corner. I'm sure it's worth millions. There was a bat behind it. I screamed like a little girl.

I made one last attempt, this time blowing as hard as I could. I was having quite a bit of success with it this time, Sally was overcome with... overcomeness and broke my concentration. She knows good lovin'.

Boy howdy!

Mrs. Butterworth... you're so dirty.



Sassy Britches said...

I hope you stretched out before all that pushing and huffing and puffing so you didn't knock something out of whack! Or maybe that was all part of your Sal-overcomeness-ploy...

Scope said...

Damn, hope you got the joint insured for a lot of buck. Be a damn shame it someone tossed a match in there and you were then uncompensated for your loss.

Let me know next time you are going to be out of the state having dinner with a judge or something. I know a guy.

Bella@That damn expat said...

I'm laughing my ass off at the original supper comment!

You are something, Cowguy.

Sunny said...

Didn't know you play a violin.

Love the crap yard.

The Dental Maven said...

Looks like a regular crap house to me. Yup.

Jennifer and Sandi said... much you want for the Aunt Jemima bottle?


Just A Chic... said...

I actually see a small fortume in amongst the mess. People pay good money for some of that stuff.

Scrappy Doo said...

Loved the tour of the manor. I give ya a dollar for the bike.:-)


zizzybob said...

Actually, I wouldn't mind having one of those milk bottles. One mans trash, another mans treasure and all that crap.

Scope said...

Anybody else thinking that those milk bottles might have been for those winter nights when SOMEBODY just didn't feel like running out back to the ol' one-holer?

Stacie said...

that's some great finds!

Ann said...

When we bought our house + 11 acres, we didn't get the original farmhouse, but we got a nice sized junk pile. Amazingly, it had some of the same items as your house: a bike, a lawn mower, a galvanized wash tub. We got a lot of good use out of that tub, but hauled the rest to the dump.

Bella@That damn expat said...

I tagged you in a meme!

Giggle Pixie said...

Time to call in the auctioneer. That's a treasure trove right there!


Sass said...

I heard this noise earlier, and felt a breeze...what are you doing pushing on my house???

And who gave you the right to take pictures of my entertainment center?

And I don't know what you mean by "Last Supper." In fact, that's a picture of lunch with some of my cousins. They're hippies, ya know.

Get off my property, Cowguy. Now.

Candy's daily Dandy said...

Nice artifact you got there. It was great to take the tour with you.
I gotta say-the picture with the bike? There is something about that shot-I'm not kidding-it could be the composition of color, the way the items are arranged, but I think that is a magnificent photograph.

Call me crazy-but it speaks art.

Gwen said...

"I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll push your house down!" Or blow out my butthole trying.

You should have a Halloween party there!

I agree with Candy - the bike picture is quite nice. The color and composition are appealing.

Queen Goob said...


Do you KNOW what people pay for that kind of crap? And the screen door refurbished would be FABULOUS!

WowsRose said...

""I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll push your house down!" Or blow out my butthole trying."

Oh sweet jesus that is funny!!!

Queen Goob said...

I played around in PhotoShop with a couple of your pictures - good stuff!

Jennifer and Sandi said...

I've got first dibs on that washboard tub! PLEASE PLEASE!!

Love those places. I'd fix'er up Jace!

Happy Tuesday
- Jennifer

Katie said...

LOL! Hmmmmm.....maybe if you'd turned around you could've generated more wind power? :) Cheers!

Sass said...

Oh my GOODNESS win.

Blow out my butthole.

"OOOOH, I think I just blew an O-ring."

I can't stop laughing.

Reality Therapist said...

Ah, can't you renovate it???

I always think of the life that was once in places like that. Kind of sad to see it so broken down.

Greenmare said...

wow what a great bunch of junque!!! yes, that's expensive junk there buddy! cool stuff! I like that wire basket thingie, and the crates, and the milk bottles. oh heck I'm a junk junkie!

Jerry said...

I think it's all been said.

Great post, Jace! Thanks!

Cowguy said...

Dang y'all went all loco with this one. Thanks for all the comments and the braggin on the fine collection of crap and Sal's extra cool shot of the bike.

Gwen? We need to hang out do some drinking some day. Lordy girl.


Nej said...

The picture of the upstairs window officially gave me the creeps! :-)

Thanks for the tour!!!!

Anonymous said...

gee if I knew you were stopping by I would straightened up a bit

Sherry Goodloe said...

Ooooooooooooh weeeeeeee, I would LOVE to get my hands on some of that rusty stuff in there!!