"J" Is For Jockstrap

My lil' buddy Sass peeled off her letter sweater and hit me in the face with it. It nearly blinded me what with all those cheerleader pins and crap stuck all over it. I poured some Wild Turkey in my eyeholes and recovered and praise God... I'm able to write (or is that writhe) this blog post.

So the plan here according to Sassalevitra, she hangs me with a letter from the human bean alphabet and I give you 10 things that I love that start with the letter "J"...................

I even sorta volunteered for this thing all guinea pig like, and now it's proven to be about as difficult as castrating a 1000 pound bull armed with nothing more than a safety pin and good insurance policy. But here we go.


Things I Love That Start With J.

By Cowguy McGilicutty (<--- my new pen name for this post. Cool huh?)


#1. Jerky. I love me some beef jerky and how. All except the part where you're digging the sinewy parts outta your teeth for the rest of your life. Other than that I love Jerky.





#2. Jesus. I love Jesus. I'm a Christian and ol' Jesus... he's alright.








#3. Jugs. I don't feel quite right throwing this in right after Jesus, but it's what came to mind next... and I love jugs. Big, small, in between. Real, fake, hell I don't care and any heterosexual man that says he does is a bald faced liar. Seriously. They're like the best invention ever. MOTORBOAT!







#4. Jake, my son. If you don't have fun with Jake... you just ain't trying. Here's a video of Jake in a pretty outrageous Mustang that he built, giving his mom (Sal) a ride. She did a real nice job with the camera and accused him of giving her an old lady ride when they got back. He did, but watch it, he turns it loose for her a couple of times. (watch it in HQ!)







#5. Junk. Every man on earth appreciates junk. The junkyards of my youth where you could ramble around, those were the bestest.








#6. Jewish folks. I love every single Jewish person I've ever met and think it's a damned fine religion. Bruce Lee loved them also because they gave us Jew-Jitsu.








#7. Jockstraps. Actually I hated these things, but I needed to mention them. The first time I spotted one of these things in Jr. High my first reaction was "We're gonna wear a slingshot on our junk?" And why the hell are they assless? Seriously. Could Jerry Jockenhimer (inventor of the jock strap) made these damned things anymore uncomfortable... and hillarious? Give me a break...







#8. JuJu Fruit. Awesome flavor and texture but guaranteed to make you jump outta your seat in the theater and run to the restroom to inspect the tooth that you just yanked the filling out of eating the Devil's candy.







#9. Jerry Jeff Walker. The original drinkin' til you're dumber than owl dung, country bar, party song man. Unsure? Ha. Here he is singing "Up Against The Wall Redneck Mother". The one song he wrote that actually made him some decent money? Mr. Bojangles. I hate that gagorific song.







#10. Jack. Yukon Jack. Front porch. Summer evening. Guitar in my lap. My sweetie sittin' in the swing over yonder. Yesss.








So there you be. How'd I do?

Drop me an email if you wanna round at this and I'll poke a letter at you.

J.