Thursday, April 17, 2008

Splat

So in the comments of my day before yesterday post, my beloved mentioned her disappointment with me not blogging of my fall that evening. That comment snowballed a little arousing the curiosity of a couple of other readers... so... sheesh.

I'm a little accident prone, things just happen to me. Usually nothing serious that I can't get over in a couple days or so, but it's pretty common. My family loves this about me. *sigh* I think it's like having their very own built in, pratfalling Chevy Chase.

Tuesday evening just before dark Sally said she wanted to go plant a couple of flowering vines down by the east fence and at this point in the day I was already nice and comfy in my recliner in my reclining garb. My reclining wear that evening was a t-shirt and a favorite pair of lounge pants which happen to be bright blue with Southern Comfort whiskey logos all over 'em. I pulled on a dirty grey hoodie and my work boots, but not bothering to lace 'em up or tie 'em. And off I went across the yard to help Sal plant things.

I was soon to plant something else in the dirt.

After the last thing was planted Sally and I got to "foolin' around" like husbands and wives do. ( :-) ) I started chasing her across the yard in a run that can best be described as what you'd picture Carl the grounds keeper in Caddyshack, crossed up with drunk goose and stymied by unkept shoelaces. I still had the yellow handled shovel in hand as I *Forrest Gump voice* "Ra-an lak the wi-ind blows" after my blushing bride.

I then stepped on my right shoelaces with my left foot, in full boogie, which launched my right boot into the sky in a spiraling arc, landing some feet behind me. My shovel... launched like an athlete's javelin, speared into the yard at an awkward angle, and my nose rooted into the yard like a pig going for a grub worm. Sally was especially entertained by the sound effect, which she kept repeating all the way to the house... over and over.

Sally: *laughing hysterically* I... heard.... BOOOFFFFFF!

Me: Thanks for the concern honey

Sally: BOOOFFFFFF! BOOOFFFFFF! BOOOFFFFFF!

Me: I could have died

Sally: *second or third wave of maniacal laughter* BOOOFFFFFF!

Me: See this shovel honey?

Sally: *wiping tears* *getting a straight face on* BOOOFFFFFF!

Me: Dang it! I got grass stains on my Southern Comfort pants!

Sally: *totally loosing it now and leaning on the car to keep from falling, unable to even say BOOOFFFFF at this point*

Me: *sigh*

7 comments:

Jerry said...

OK. Got a good solid belly laugh outta that one. Especially when you started pining about grass stains.....

Man, this is like those stories I used to read in installments in the newspaper when I was waaaayyy young. I couldn't WAIT for the next day's helping of mystery and intrigue. (Of course I HAD to...)

Keep 'em coming. I'm starting to need my fix. :)

Sally said...

I can barely see for the tears lol. Let me see if I can clarify this picture lol.
You know those crime scene outlines? When I turned around what I saw was a body laying there, face down. Flat as flat could be LOL. Looked like I could peel him up offa the ground like they do in cartoons lol. One boot about 4 feet behind him all by itself. And the shovel... laying parallel to the body about 2 feet outa reach LOL
Whoo boy...
Oh lol and the sound was, "DaWHoufh!!" LOL ROFLMAO LOL

Kim said...

Jace? Don't run with scissors, okay?

Sally? I'm glad you could elaborate a little--between the two of you, you tell a pretty darn good story! Thanks for the entertainment!

Vicky said...

And you didn't have your camera handy? What I wouldn't give to have seen that .......BOOOFFFF!

Quiltersal said...

You guys crack me up! Thanks for sharing.
Sally (In southwest Missouri)

JudyL said...

My sides hurt from coughing so much the past few days. Your story didn't help my pain! I laughed so hard . . sorry Jace!

Marilyn said...

I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. Now coughing. Thanks for the laughs. Have you thought about a newspaper column?