Scenario: Husband pulls in the driveway towing a brand new, blue metal flaked bass boat... unannounced. A purchase, that has not been discussed, let alone approved by the finance committee, namely Sweet Thang.
Sweet Thang: *hands on hips*
Guilty One: *hands in pockets, kicking at imaginary rocks in the driveway.
Marvin Gaye: I've been really tryin', baby
ST: WHAT is THAT?
Marvin: Tryin' to hold back this feelin' for so long
GO: I got this for us honey. *smiling sweetly, trying to look like a little boy, or as much like a little boy that an overweight, 35 year old man with 4 days of stubble and wearing the same Hooters T shirt that he's been wearing for the past 9 years on a weekly basis... can look*
Marvin: And if you feel like I feel, baby
ST: Seriously dude. What the hell?
GO: *Straining hard to attain the "look" that he practiced this morning in the bathroom mirror.*
Marvin: Then come on, oh, come on
ST: *waiting for a REAL answer*
GO: *raising his eyes slowly from the driveway to Sweet Thang's eyes and taking a small step towards her.*
Marvin: Whoo, let's get it on. Ah, babe, let's get it on
ST: *rolling her eyes in total disgust*
GO: *tilting his head slightly and getting that "Spanky grin" on his face that she loves*
Marvin: Let's love, baby. Let's get it on, sugar. Let's get it on
ST: Oh for crying out loud. You're being a total ass here.
GO: *letting the grin slide from his face, only to be punctuated with....*
Marvin: Whoo-ooh-ooh
ST: Oh God!
GO: I got a great deal on it honey, nearly a steal. I couldn't pass it up and we were planning on getting one in 3 or 4 years anyhow.
Marvin: We're all sensitive people, with so much to give
ST: You KNOW we don't have the money or the budget for this, what the hell is wrong with the way your head works? I just don't get it.
GO: *turning up "the look".*
Marvin: Understand me, sugar since we got to be... let's live
ST: *having just a twinge of "the look" affect her.*
GO: *touching her arm with his hand*
Marvin: I love you
ST: *letting the creases in her forehead slacken a bit*
Marvin: *ALL Marvin...* There's nothin' wrong
With me lovin' you
Baby, no, no
And givin' yourself to me can never be wrong
If the love is true
Oh, babe, ooh, ooh
GO: Bill got fired at work for boinkin' the boss' old lady, I got his job today.
ST: *looking GO straight in the eyes checking for a trace of lies.*
Marvin: Don't you know
How sweet and wonderful life can be?
Whoo-ooh
I'm askin' you, baby
To get it on with me
Ooh, ooh, ooh
ST: *starting to soften*
GO: It's another 5500 bucks in pay.
ST: For real? Are you bullshitting me like when you brought home the motorcycle and told me we won the lottery?
Marvin: I ain't gonna worry, I ain't gonna push, won't push you, baby
GO: *sliding his arm around ST's waist and pulling her in* I'm sorry 'bout that one baby. I'm such an ass sometimes. This is for real this time... I'm in like Flint with the old man.
Marvin: So come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, baby. Stop beatin' 'round the bush, hey
ST: *softening and uncrossing her arms*
Marvin: *loudly* Let's get it on, ooh, ooh
Let's get it on
You know what I'm talkin' 'bout
Come on, baby, hey, hey
Let your love come out
If you believe in love
Let's get it on, ooh, ooh
Let's get it on, baby
This minute, oh yeah
Let's get it on
Please, please, get it on
Hey, hey
ST: *gazing longingly in her lovers eyes* So... what'd you get for me?
GO: *thinking to himself.. Well, crap!"
Marvin: *fading into the background* Do you know I mean it?
I've been sanctified
Hey, hey
Girl, you give me good feelings, so good
Nothin' wrong with love
If you want to love me
Just let yourself go
Oh, baby
Let's get it on
I almost strained a brain muscle with that one.. holy carp.
Here. Here's you a little Valentines day Marvin of your very own. A free "Let's Get It On" MP3 download from Amazon.
Feel the love, clickety click.
Stay tuned for the REAL Valentines day post.
J.
.
8 comments:
You are too much, Cowguy.
I'm laughing my ass off here. You sure know how to paint a picture.
New boat - cool.
Sweet talkin the woman about the new boat - I'm with ya.
Gittin' some - way to go Cowguy.
But 35????? You lost me there man.
muahahaha, I can really picture it...GREAT POST!
What really matters here is.....so you actually have TIME to go fishing?
Have a Super Weekend
- Jennifer
Bella: I'm either sorry or happy for you and your butt... whichever way it needs to go for you, I'm with you. :-)
Venom: lol 35. It's not me... it's fiction.
Stacie: Excellent, I did it kinda right then.
Jennifer: No, I don't fish much, the post was fiction.
Pssh! She gave in waaay too fast! She coulda weaseled a nice diamond something out of guilt if she held out a little longer.
But very very nice work! I laughed till I fell off my desk chair, then I got up and laughed again!
Is it weird that I pictured Cowguy kind of off to the side singing, instead of Marvin?
Ditto on the "painting the picture" comment. LOL!!
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