Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Cow Woes All Over The Stinkin' Place

So this morning I went to feed the cows as usual and the cows loved me like cows should for feeding them primo hay and unrolling it for 'em so they can gorge on it faster. I got back to the house on the Tractor Of Doom and Robert pulls in behind me. He'd went down and checked the cattle tank and had the grave announcement that the cows had got the tank outta it's area, knocked upside down and down the hill with the water just running out.

Great. This again. Did I mention how much I hate broken water things in cold weather? I did? It was 10* here this morning. Gah.

So I grab some stuff and we go over there and it's a mess. The poop/pee/water/ice pond is there again and I have no boots with me. So, we just turn around and I go the 10 miles back home, get my boots and some tools and head back up there. Not enough tools, and not the correct tools, but I bring some tools.

Back at Robert's place, I'm throwing stuff in the truck that I think I'll need to fix this mess and I notice a big ol honking weed burner (I dunno who that guy is in his pajamas burning up that dirt or whatever he's doing.)and I ask Robert if he's got a BBQ tank with some gas in it and he does. SCORE!

I gotta stop and tell you a little factoid. My uncle Robert holds the value of good tools way down here... 'bout ankle high. Any tools that he owns are the ones that I've bought for him, mostly out of despair of having nothing to work with at his place. The man is embarrassingly tooless.

So once again, as in this post I ask about "something to chop with like an ax"... 'cause I'd neglected to grab anything at our house... and midway thru that request I cringe because I know what the answer will be before I finish asking the question.

Robert: "You remember the other day when the wedge came out of the ax while you were chopping the crap and you flung the ax head way down the hill?"

Me: "yeah"

Robert: "Well... it's still missing the wedge"

Me: "So, it's like a stick?"

Robert: "Heh heh"

Me: "Anything else we can chop with?"

Robert: "I've got that Chopper 1 woodsplitting maul..."

Me: "The monstrosity with the broken handle sitting by the door in the barn?"

Robert: " Heh heh... yeah."

Uncle Robert FOUND this thing in the road once. And, I've heard the story about how he shoulda just left it laying there, but in a Jack Handy twisted self reply it's always "But hey! Free ax thing!"

Here's what this thing looks like when it's new. It's a horrible piece of equipment invented in some bizarre military experiment by a group of Chimps eating tabs of acid like they were Mentos. The one that belongs to Robert is worse. It's got half a handle, broken off all jagged like. Surefire tool to cause injury.

We get to the pee/poop/ice/water pool and I fire up the weedburner and twist it up on "magnum" and start cooking the pee/poop/ice/ so I can chop it up a little easier with the ol Chopper 1. *sigh* I turn this job over to Robert and wade out into the pool with about 2 inches of waterline below the tops of my boots. What a mess. Gah gah blech.

I'm working with the tank getting it back where it's supposed to be and getting it fastened in place and notice the waterlevel is going down. Ahh the weedburner is working and what a lovely aroma is coming from our little area... it'd make a possum faint. Seriously, it's pretty ghastly.

Anyway, we get the nastiness drained away again, the tank set in place and fastened down, the water reattached to the tank and thirsty cows, once again quenched. I get back home finally about 11:30 and throw every article of clothing I'm wearing in the washer, hit the shower and start the day again.

Shopping list* Ax and shovel.

4 comments:

Kim said...

Okay, so I was a little impatient a bit earlier, but I came back again. KIM WAS HERE. Just so you know. I know you're keeping tabs.

WowsRose said...

When you go to HF to return that blade sharpener - get yourself a shovel & ax for the farm.

Then again, the ax from HF might be worse then Chopper 1. More blood and I bet someone would get hit in the head atleast once with a wedge flying off. And that someone would be you. lol

Cowguy said...

"KIM WAS HERE. Just so you know. I know you're keeping tabs."

Yes I am and like Bartles and James, "your support is appreciated" LOL

"More blood and I bet someone would get hit in the head atleast once with a wedge flying off. And that someone would be you."

*sigh* Most likely. :-)

pkunk said...

Hey Jace, I have one of those choppers & it really works. Course, mine has a handle.