Friday, January 4, 2008

Ice And Cattle Tanks

Went up to the farm this morning to feed and check the cows, check the water tank... etc. We keep a huge rubber like stock tank behind the ponds on our place, a water line takes water off the bottom of the pond and it just runs all the time into the stock tank. The water coming off the bottom of the pond is nice and warm and with it running and all, it never freezes. Well, this morning it looked like there had been a whole lotta tequila drank around that watering tank by a bunch of surly and unruly cows. I don't know how it happened but the unbreakable, 5 year warrantied tank that was about 6 months old, had the whole dang end busted out of it and was doing a pretty lousy job of holding water. I really despise working on water things when it's cold out. It affects me....

Off to town to get a new tank at the Farm Store. The kid informs me that I've made an excellent choice, like he's my cow tank steward or something. He touts the virtues of it having a 5 year warranty and that they can take all kinds of abuse. I tell him that when I get that one set, I'm bringing one in that some cow ran another cows head through it in a bar fight.

As soon as the kid quits staring at me and stops the exagerated blinking of his eyes, we put the new tank in the back of the truck in silence and I head to the farm.

I wanna stop right here for a moment and ask y'all something that bothers me. I've got a decent sense of humor but it seems the older I get the more I get a fairly common response from younger folks. Tell 'em something funny and they stand there trying to decipher if I'm a senile old fart, an idiot or if it was something they should laugh at. If you ask Sal my wife, she'll say "yes" to all three, in reference to me... but she's biased. Do you people increasingly have to laugh at your own jokes just to make the joke work?

I thought so.

Okay, back to the story. My uncle drives his truck out there and we get the old tank pulled outta the hole and plunk the new one in there, refix the waterline to it and all's well for thirsty cows on January 4 2008.

Now around the water tank there's gravel, lots of gravel, like several truck loads spread out to keep it nice and solid for the cows to stand on while they're drinking. Unfortunately when it's this cold the outside edges of this area, ice starts to build and makes an ice dam all around that gets higher and higher and it starts to make a little pond of water, poop and pee around the tank. I know, you're thinking right now "Mmmmm mmmm!" Well, you'd be wrong 'cause it's pretty dang nasty.

I ask my uncle if he's got anything in the truck to dig with and he doesn't, so we head back to the house to get implements of dam destruction. I ask him if he's got an old axe laying around that I can chop some of the frozen ice dam away with, and a shovel. He produces what appears to a razor sharp double bit axe. I make sure that he wants me chopping the things I'm gonna be chopping with it and he says "Just use the worst edge". There is no worst edge, they both appear to be shaving sharp. Oh well... a poop chopping I go!

We get there and I head to the ice dam with the axe and make a couple worthy chops and then the next swing yields nothing but axe handle hitting the icy poopy pee water. I raise the thing up to eye level and examine the ax-less handle and for a split second wonder "what the...." and waaaaayyyyyy down the hill I hear "clang". I musta got a good 100 feet or more for distance on that axe head! Go me! My uncle says to me in infinite wisdom "wedge musta fell out". Why yes, I believe it has. Please shut the screen door on the submarine on your way out.

Anyway, the cows ended up with water today, the water poop pee pond got drained after some shovel flanging at it and all is well for the time being.


lilsis said...

Just like Sal, I say Yes.

Cowguy said...


JudyL said...

What a glamorous tale you tell!

Sometimes I wonder if kids today aren't too serious. Chad rarely jokes and gets frustrated with me when I try to joke with him. Maybe it's just my bad jokes though! :(

Doodlebug Gail said...

I'm so glad the cows got something to drink! Your stories are wonderful - you're on my Bloglines account.

Ahem - date typo? LOL

"all's well for thirsty cows on January 4 2007"

Gail L.

Cowguy said...

2007... See???? that was a joke.

ah hem.. lol fixed it.

Thanks Gail

Vicky said...

Dang! I really need to go potty before I read your blogs! :)

Bon said...

Thanks for the laugh. When the axe head flew off, I about lost it.

I agree with Sal.

Anonymous said...

You could just use the dam. That'd be convenient.


Vicky said...

LOL. Yeah, since he gave away the outhouse!