Saturday, January 12, 2008

Kansas City Today

Got up this morning and drove out to Kansas City and visited my daughter and son in law and had a great time. My son in law, Val had me reduced to tears with first a story about having to pay a cousin $50 for a goat because the cousin was broke... lol to another story about a schizophrenic family member that stole silverware and dishes wherever he ate to a faux suicide attempt by the same family member that went like this.

Val looked out the window and saw his Cousin Ernie (cause I can't remember his name and it doesn't matter anyhow) standing in the sun with his nose pinched tight with his fingers and his eyes closed. Val said he watched him for quite a while and finally went out there to see what the heck the poor man was doing.

Val: What are you doing man?

CE : I'm ending it all Val, I'm suffocating myself to death. I'll be dead soon.

So Val said he watched him for a bit, breathing through his mouth while he pinched his nose tightly.

Val: Ernie, you're doing it all wrong.

CE: No, I can feel it coming. I'm nearly dead.

Val said he then put his hand over Cousin Ernies mouth and held it there. Ernie stood there for a little bit, then tried to gasp a couple of times, his eyes opened wide and he jumped back and yelled at Val "Good God man, you're going to kill me!" and stomped off.

We went and ate lunch at a Mongolian Barbeque... Holy mackerel was that a blast. It's like a buffet of raw meat and vegetables and other stuff and you go 'round and gather up your fixin's. In the center of the restaurant is a huge round iron grill with about 8 chefs standing at it. You walk up, hand 'em your bowl of raw things, one of 'em throws it on the giant iron thing and they start whaling the tar out of your food with these cup shaped knife things. Whipping it all around and tossin' it and spanking the crap outta the giant iron thing with their knife things... all the time entertaining you with clever repartee in an effort to get you to stuff some bucks in the tip jars. The food was EXCELLENT!

Another thing, on the stretch of I-70 that I travel from Columbia, MO to Kansas City, you will never see a higher concentration of Adult Video, Porn Store, Live Nude Dancers, and "Novelty" (wink wink) advertising and places of business anywhere else in the midwest. It's amazing. I'd guess that at least every 6th or 7th billboard is for one of these joints and the number of stores is pretty incredible too.

I thought that surely someone has created a webpage or done something about it on the wide wide world of internet so I Googled it. When you Google something such as this, I gotta tell you that you're gonna get some funny results. Yesiree Bob. Wow.

I lost interest in it after a couple of hours.



lilsis said...

Hoo boy. A couple of hours, eh?

Kim said...

That's what I truly love about reading your blog--it's always jam packed with valuable, educational information--just like that stretch of highway between Columbia and Kansas City.

Vicky said...

Be careful what you Google!! I know! After reading a silly thread on a message board a year ago about famous "women couples" -- you know, like Laverne & Shirley -- I googled that phrase or something like that. OMG, my computer was suddenly overtaken by porno sites of the female variety. I had to get the computer guy out here to clean it up for me. (I didn't even try to explain how it happened. They wouldn't have believed me anyway!)

Big chuckle at your description of the Mongolian BBQ place - and a real snorting ROFLOL at Cousin Ernie! Sounds like your day was grand!! (Hugs)

Anonymous said...

Yes- try living in the middle of all those signs and having to answer your children every other day..."Why can't we go to THAT bookstore, they have toys too, huh, mom, huh?????". They've tried to outlaw some of those signs, but it just hasn't happened yet.